6 Places to Date Yourself in North London
Written by: Shanna F. Jones
So everything you like is either expensive, illegal or doesn’t text back. Been there buddy. Or maybe all you want to do is give your hot ass some well deserved relaxation time. Alone. Doing whatever the hell you want to do. Or maybe you, like me, eventually find social interaction cripplingly tiring. Once you get over the embarrassment of thinking you look like Billy or Jilly no mates, you’ll be able to appreciate how sophisticated and mysterious you really look. ‘Who is that beautiful human with such confidence?’ They will say.Uh huh, that, my friend, is you. You’re the trendsetter with glowing lack of inhibition, living with such wild and sexy abandon. You are like Rafiki in the Lion King when it comes to wisdom, satisfied with the quiet sense of knowing freedom comes with doing what you want, when you want. There is nothing more stress relieving than having some me time.
Good god, you are so awesome, no one on this god damn planet deserves to date you like you deserve to date yourself, so go and enjoy it.
1. Have a boulder at The Castle Climbing Centre
Unlike climbing, you don’t need a buddy to do bouldering. In fact, you need very little equipment at all, just buy or hire some specialist shoes and a chalk bag. The Castle near Stoke Newington is a pretty spectacular place to try it out.
2. Make a daisy chain in a London garden
Make like Cecilia from Atonement and recline near grand old trees and under blossom when the season is right. Lord Leverhulme, a wealthy philanthropist, had the Hampstead Pergola & Hill Gardens designed in 1904 for lavish Edwardian garden parties. Party on.
3. Book a night in a hotel alone
You could read trashy books or watch detective programmes ALL NIGHT and nobody would have to know about it. Bonus: you don’t have to pack sexy underwear. Check out the Green Rooms in Wood Green, an artist community hotel where you can see shows and discussions before retiring to a room of one’s own. Rooms start at £50. Bargain.
4. Hang out in a bookshop
Ok, I know I’m a writer and must stop inflicting my own interests onto you interesting and varied people, but I can’t help being fascinated by lurking around book shops. It makes me feel like a real beat poet, haunting the shelves at City Lights, San Francisco. The North London version has got to be Housmans, which has just won the Best Independent Bookshop in London award.
5. See a play
Make your high school English teacher proud and see an outdoor show at Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre. Currently showing is Running Wild, the largest-scale production ever to be shown at the theatre. Or, if that doesn’t tickle your fancy, you can catch Henry V, Jesus Christ Superstar or Pride and Prejudice in the forthcoming months.
6. Get up and go…
I got really excited when I found out that I could walk from my home to Central London in just over an hour. I’m pretty sure I had to walk for nearly that long to catch the bus back at home in the middle of nowhere. It’s not all smog and tubes. Try the Jubilee Greenway walk, which takes you up the canal towpath from Little Venice to Camden. One might have to have a well-earned pint at the end of that…
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We all have our own ways of dealing with life when things get shitty. Having a big cry and getting it all out can be incredibly therapeutic, and even more so when we find ourselves repeating the same line over and over through the tears. “He’s a dick!” or “I’m not a bad person!” These little lines of reinforcement help us push through the crappy feeling. Sometimes we might even revert to a hearty little stamp on the floor / kick of some unsuspecting object. It feels surprisingly satisfying when the rage sets in and we feel helpless.
This Friday sees the release of Malian master musicians, Trio Da Kali’s new album Ladilikan. Fusing rich, expressive vocals with traditional instruments like the balafon and bass ngoni, this is a beautiful mix of ancient Mande culture and contemporary Malian sounds. Luckily for us North Londoners, we have the opportunity to see the trio play live in the rather fitting ethereal surrounds of Stoke Newington Church next month.
Walking along Monsell Road in Finsbury Park, we spy the charming exterior of a shop looking like something out of a children’s book circa 1932. Beneath a green and white striped awning, a whimsical new world of mini animals awaits. Once inside we stumble about the store in hushed awe, reaching over a book of minuscule carpet samples/ family of miniature otters to tap a tiny bell.
Whether you’re looking for something to entertain your kids, your friends’ kids or that particularly large man child in your life, you might just have lucked out. Snug are hosting an open air screening of The Incredibles next Saturday evening. There will be tasty sourdough pizzas from Sodo Pizza (Upper Clapton) and ultimate authentic curries from Rice n Spice, Northwold Road.
Coming soon to a Tufnell Park near you is a whole new vegetable patch of delights / wheat field to run vicariously through. It’s time to get excited for Ceremony: a brand new bar/restaurant serving modern British veggie cuisine. Although the website remains tantalisingly mysterious, you can glean more info from their well stocked insta.
Sound baths, pit parties, fake cheese and nipples, these are a few of our favourite things, said no one ever. Bored of drinking down the pub every evening? Unlikely, but bare with me. Sometimes you just want to let down your hair, shake it off and do something down right odd of an evening... followed by a pint at the pub.
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Gluten-free cake consumers, vegan cheese enthusiasts, craft beer connoisseurs, lovers of pies and drinkers of tea; your time is now. Buy food of a quality & variety you can’t easily find in the shops, from organic meat to vegan cheese, fish caught that morning to pickles which have been fermenting for months, at Stroud Green market.
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What if you could mix the joys of your local Sunday car boot and all it’s dog perving potential with your favourite vintage clothes shops and high end antique markets? Within the sparkling depths of Dalson’s former ABC cinema, you’ll find The Big London Flea: London’s largest indoor vintage market.
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