Anti Social London: the meet up group that doesn’t want to meet
Written by: Sophie Taylor
If I find myself on the tube for some god awful reason like travel, the only thing going round my miserable brain is the phrase, hell is other people. So when some disgusting reprobate came up with the idea of Tube Chat badges, for people to express their desire to socialise on the underground, I gasped. I recoiled. I scoffed. I vomited.
But I may have found a similar strain of oxymoronically London-based hermits. Amidst the barrage of tedious events and groups found on social site, Meet Up, lies a horrid and bordering-on-sociopathic collection of miserables who shun the very notion of socialising.
Hiding in the darkest corner of the website you’ll spot Anti Social London, a new class of misanthropes who definitely don’t want to meet up.
Example meetings include, After Work Drinks? with the description: “I think the answer, is clearly no. You’ve got 15 minutes to down a nights worth of drinks. Then you leave. No exceptions. Just get out and shut your mouth.”
They promise that meetups will be announced with little to no notice, ‘ending as soon as they begin’ with minimal warning. According to the group administrator, the meet up is most suited to:
– old unprofessionals
– people who don’t like chocolate but still have a little bit “cos it came with the bill”
– people who only like to answer questions
– people who arrive in their little cliques of three and refuse to split up then complain that no one talked to them
– people who are incredibly frustrated by their own lack of a sense of direction
– people who find they are most comfortable when standing on the outside of a group, staring in, holding a drink and never drinking
– people who are passionate about the sanctity of life of bacteria
– conspiracy theorists
– members of the House of Lords
– people who’s stories only ever begin with “one time I was so totally drunk and I…”
– people with a sense of humour
Reviews of the group include:
“ So tedious they almost hurt. Almost. as they even fail at that. ” — Giacomo
“ Come near me and I will cut you. Have a nice day 🙂 ” — Tony W.
“ Well, what can you really say… it exists ! ” — Karen H
The most comforting and worrying fact is that this particular group has over 3,000 members. We are not alone. Which is unfortunate.
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