Broke January: Weird Ways to Make Money in 2016
Written by: Violet Myers
It’s been the season of gift giving, food buying and shot slamming. You may be reeling over your credit card bill, hearing echoes in your bank account and cursing ‘fun you’ who buys rounds for everyone in Wetherspoons. Why oh why are the drunk so generous?
You could be responsible, start saving and tighten your belt, but that just doesn’t sound like very much fun. Instead, why not get your kit off, become a human guinea pig or bare your soul to The Daily Mail.
Let loose, get your tits out and shake what your mother gave you… actually I’m drawing that one, so keep very very still.
It’s booty for booty round these parts, a model can earn a whole lot of dough just for lounging around in the buff. Zamira, who worked on and off as a life model for two years got paid £3 per person attending the class, so averaged £20-30 for an hour. With classes up to two hours long, strip me down and paint me like one of your French girls.
Though a lot of the work involves literally laying down, the challenge is staying completely still for hours at a time. It can be very painful and requires incredible concentration.
Pay day or Nah Mate:
Strangers see your bits, you’ll get a numb butt, but you may end up with a new found appreciation for your body and little bit of extra cash to line your pockets, once you’ve got your jeans back on.
“The Best part was after the class when the students would come and show me what they’d drawn. They were so complimentary, which was pretty super for my ego. I would definitely say it’s worth it!”
Life Modelling Photo: Ruff Root Creative
Sell Pants Online
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure, those stretched-out undies you go to the gym in: worth some serious pennies, you’re sitting in crusty smelly gold!
Mya, who sold her pants to make money for university shared some of the…grittier details:
“I sold mine for £25 per pair, but you can get more the dirtier they are. I used to buy multipacks from Primark for £3. I was selling them just before uni – so ‘barely 18’ was my niche…”
“…There are a lot of niches, pregnant goes for way more as they’re more specialist. People are really specific about the kind of pants they want, so cotton is quite popular… because of the absorption. It’s not just women, men sell them too, gym socks sell well.”
Besides getting acquainted with the scariest Craig in the business (List not David) surely all the effort is down to your biology? “Someone got a hold of email address and found me on Facebook and tried to blackmail me, saying he was going to tell my family and wanting to get free pairs of pants, it was really scary, but I ignored and he eventually stopped.”
So If you do fancy giving it a go remember to protect your privacy and be careful who your personal details are visible to.
Pay day or Nah Mate…:
Perhaps it’s a little creepy if you think about it too much. But what’s the world without a little kink? Your clients get an exciting regular package through the post and you get some extra fivers to throw at strippers.
Sell a Story
You know those mad people in magazines claiming to have had a month long affair with the ghost of Jeremy Beadle or after much disturbing research have discovered they are their own grandpa? Well tabloids, gossip magazines and other ‘less respectable’ publications pay top dollar for these stories, you could be one of those weirdos!
While the average confession may get you a not-to-be-sniffed at £100, a really juicy story can land you up to £1000.
“If anyone thought it was weird I’d just remind them that it paid my rent for the month!”
Explains one girl, who wishes to remain anonymous. She sold a particularly nutty story to a widely read paper and reaped the financial benefits, with minimum effort required other than a quick interview and the use of some colourful adjectives.
“I found the ad on Facebook, sent them a message and had a telephone interview. They sent a stylist to my house took some photos and that was it.”
A few hours of posing and asking questions and you’ve got your mug in a mag and money in the bank, ding ding ding!
Pay Day or Nah Mate:
Is it worth it? Don’t you receive worried phone calls from your Mum? Suffer through a shit storm of trolls? Our anonymous friend reassures us that this isn’t necessarily the case, it can, in fact, lead to the added bonus of pints being bought for you down the pub (potentially):
“Nobody I didn’t want to noticed it because people don’t expect to see someone they know in the paper. My friends all thought it was hilarious and called me a legend for doing it.”
Take Part in Medical Research
It sounds like the start of a really bad B movie; poor Londoner enters a research facility in order to make a quick quid, leaves with five new nipples and a Safeway advantage card. But many of these programmes are popping up all over the city, offering an early pay day for a week of bed rest, day time TV and hourly injections.
Martin, who took part in a trial in 2015, received £1000 for a two night stay at Hammersmith Medicines Research.
“It was weirdly easy money. The drug I was testing had zero side effects and I spent most of the time watching ‘Don’t Tell the Bride’ with the other people on the trial.”
Other trials have been known to pay up to £3000 but drugs may have more side effects and stays may be up to a month at a time.
Unfortunately sitting about getting acquainted with BBC Three isn’t the be all and end all of medical research, each trial requires frequent blood samples and strict rules.
“The blood tests were every two hours and at times pretty painful. Also between waking up and taking the drugs we weren’t allowed to eat, drink water or get out of bed, which makes you feel a bit of a medical prisoner.”
Pay Day or Nah Mate:
Besides feeling like some sort of bloated blood cow, surely the 1000 smackers softens the blow?
“Obviously the money was great, I’d have never have made that much in such a short amount of time. But the whole process was weird, painful and ultimately mind numbingly boring.”
Article header / Top Photo (IOU): Images Money
40FT microbrewery of Stokey / Dalston are opening up their Tap Room doors today for a sunny afternoon of refreshing beer tasting. Tucked just behind Dalston Curve Garden in the Bootyard, this beautiful courtyard of hops awaits for the most discerning of beer hunters.
If there ever was a way to strike the perfect balance between modern serenity and sham shackle beach hut chic, then Upper Street’s Trawler Trash have found it. The new seafood spot serves nothing but the ocean’s finest, but with a twist, they’re giving less well-known fish a platform to be experienced and gorged on by ravenous locals, hence the name ‘Trawler Trash’, because they literally ‘turn trash into treasure’.
Spirited away from the hubbub of the city, sitting on the bustling boundaries of Islington and Camden, a 65 metre wide gallery resides hidden behind the Attic Self Storage building in Kings Cross. Market Road Gallery is a newly opened space for everyone to contribute to. It is London’s first bookable open air public gallery. Everyone, from the neighbourhood cat to a fancy pants established artiste, can create artwork for the space.
Today Britain will relish (moan) in 16 hours and 38 minutes of daylight, with the sun rising at 4:43am and setting at 9:31pm. It’s set to be a record breaking 33 degrees in London. I for one am going to need all the help I can get not to disappear like the wicked witch of the West into a sticky puddle on Stroud Green Road. Here’s our Solstice-worshipping, Pagan inspired tips for surviving the hottest and longest day of the year in London.
It’s time. Time to bask (complain) in the sun and ask why god why when will it end?? Yes, Summer is officially here for the week, the hottest week in the last 20 years. This Friday, Drum n Bounce are coming all the way down South to help us celebrate this fact, as healthily as possible. Right in the middle section of VeloPark (link) you can take part in uplifting and limbering flow yoga with Tammy’s Yoga before 45 minutes of energising drum n bounce aerobics. This is basically getting hot and fit and dancey to your favourite tracks before you head off in to the night (or bed) with a massive sweaty smile on your mug.
Next Friday night, ignore your mounting list of life admin and venture outwards into the ether for a misanthropic wine a plenty. It’s the Black Books pub quiz at The Duke of Wellington as part of their couch potato themed quiz series. Entry is a meagre £2 but you can win some cold hard real cash if you’re up on your Dylan Moran / Tamsin Greig / Bill Bailey shaped references.
Who are the Heather Brothers? It’s a question that’s been keeping me up at night. Ever since I was asked to review their latest musical, Holy Crap, I’ve been trapped in something of a Google wormhole. To begin at the beginning: the Heather Brothers are, depending on who you ask, a musical writing duo/trio/quartet. Born in London, they grew up in Zimbabwe, where they spent their teenage years performing in a fraternal rock band. Again, depending on who you ask, they were variously known as: The Chequers, The Three People or Quiet World.
“Arriving back in the UK, after a long time away, there seemed to have been a swing towards xenophobia and the dehumanizing and vilify of both migrants and refugees was happening at the highest levels. I wanted to create a short that would address this trend.” Director Daniel Mulloy
The gin enthusiasts down at Hendricks have decided to take these cucumber celebrations a slice further with their Cultivate the Unusual campaign. Encouraging gin fans to grow their own cucumbers over the last few months in preparation, Hendricks are asking us to bring said veggies to participating pubs and bars this Thursday 15th June. The Canonbury Tavern for example, will light up if you walk in with a cucumber and will proceed to exchange it for a free gin and tonic. Can you imagine?
Hang Up Gallery have some pretty hush hush news. And it goes a little something like this: Darryl ‘Run’ DMC McDaniels will be popping up in the Stoke Newington gallery this month to launch his new collection of works, The Art of DMC. This is the icon’s first London exhibition, showing new and unseen collection of ‘Darryl Makes Comics (DMC)’ Fine Art, a body of signed limited edition prints showcasing his underlying passion for comics.
This year marks the 50th anniversary of the original Summer of Love ’67 where freedom of expression, art and love reigned supreme. #ShopStroudGreen are celebrating the fact with a Summer of Love Local weekend festival this June. Celebrate artistic expression and support local independent traders and makers with a weekend of live art, workshops and music (with a few special discounts, tasters and freebies for good measure).
Oh snap! Another general election looms. Whether you’re hopeful for a landslide win or a surprising wild card outcome, wipe the bitter disappointment from your tastebuds with some gins, ales, burgers and strong covfefe. Because let’s face, it will be neither of those results will it really? Find the perfect place for you to receive the bad news in good company.
Get a different perspective on the city you live in this June. Film London are holding a screening of archive footage of London’s outer boroughs through the decades, underscored by live music accompaniment. The best of London’s Screen Archives hugely successful project, London: A Bigger Picture will be shown, funded by Heritage Lottery three years ago.
We caught up with Snowy the Harringay Station cat to talk Twitter, working life and his unsavoury friendship with Gus the fox. Summer is coming and, in North London, that means it’s time to hit the train stations. So we took Snow the Haringey Station Cat and photographer Mike Barry tumbling across one of them: the undergrowth of Haringey Station. Then we sat down with Snowy for a raw conversation about how to move forward after things fall apart.
“You grow it, we mow it” might be their blasé catchphrase, but Rocket’s attitude to your haircut is far from casual. These guys are serious about hair and the person that grew it. Rocket Stoke Newington are holding a day of free beer and entertainment with your cut in aid of Men’s Mental Health Sunday this 12th June. Also known as “Chopping for Chazza”, there’ll be talks on mental health, stand up comedy and more from 12 - 5pm.
Unless you’re already working for charity or regularly ‘do your bit’, that £6 monthly donation to The Dogs Trust might not be doing enough to quash your conscience / save the world. Whether you’re doing it for experience, to reset your karmic balance or generally give back and help out, there’ll be a role out there for you. On the Volunteer Centre Camden’s website for example, there’s a handy search page that lets you filter through hundreds of opportunities by location, interest and activity.