Crouch End vs. Muswell Hill
Written by: Violet Myers
It has come to our attention that there may be a spot of healthy rivalry forming between Muswell Hill and Crouch End. But in the race to be North London’s Yummy Mummy Capital, there can only be one winner.
Now, we don’t want to get in the middle and we’d hate to stir, or even encourage a fight between the two tubeless inner city neighbourhoods, but we heard that Muswell Hill said Crouch End’s new micro fringe is totally #tryhard and Crouch End is for sure macking on Muswell Hill’s dad, but you didn’t hear that from us.
The time has come to settle this once and for all. Is Muswell Hill worthy of reigning glory or will Crouch End take the crown?
Winner: Gillian Anderson
She may talk like a Yank but alien-doubting FBI goddess Dana Scully is one of ours, more specifically one of Crouch End’s, having spent her childhood in the leafy suburb.
Runners up: James McAvoy, Simon Pegg.
Winner: Michael Kiwanuka
The British soul singer, with a voice as smooth as a DiCaprio chat-up line, grew up in Muswell Hill before finding fame with his debut album ‘Home Again’, which was nominated for a Mercury Award in 2012.
Runners up: infamously poisoned spy Alexander Litvinenko, Johnny Vegas.
Winner: The Famous Royal Oak
Sure we love a wasabi pea as much as the next guy, but when it comes to a top pub, friendly, low key and traditional wins over stylish every time. Muswell Hill’s Famous Royal Oak snatches it from competitors by giving the people what they want a bangin’ jukebox and beer at £3.50 a pint.
Runners up: O’Neils, Victoria Stakes.
Winner: The Queens
It’s hard not to love this stylish neighbourhood pub. Boasting stained glass windows, top grub and a beer garden worthy of the queen herself (Winehouse not Windsor) it’s a hit with midweek boozers and family roast seekers alike.
Runners up: The Railway Cafe, Harringay Arms.
As the final missile of WW3 is fired into our bleak dystopian future the only thing any of us will still be able to agree on is how much we miss fried chicken and how much we regret sending the entire chicken population into battle when times got really tough. Chooks make finger licking goodness an art form. Try the buttermilk chicken – die happy.
Runners up: Toffs, Amici Miei 2 Go.
Endlessly stylish, reasonably priced and serving up oodles of delicious French food without any of the hassle of actually going there – we don’t care how many Fitbit points it’ll earn us, it’s just too far. Offering breakfast, lunch, dinner and a cheeky cocktail menu, there’s no need to ever leave.
Runners up: Monkey Nuts, Heirloom.
Winner: Flesh & Flour
It may have a rather graphic name for a Deli but Flesh and Flour are keeping Muswell Hill locals on their toes with an exotic array of producers. They’re also killing it in the cafe department, but one award at a time please.
Runners up: Feat Deli, Just Natural.
Winner: De Beauvoir Deli
Packed to the rafters with high end cheeses, posh juices and more salami you could shake a baguette at, De Beauvoir Deli is keeping Crouch End classy. Sure, there’s a pretty hefty selection of healthy options but it’s those massive cakes that make them winners in our eyes.
Runners up: Haelan Centre, Piazza Italia.
Winner: Alexandra Palace
Easily one of North London’s best venues, this triumph of a palace showers us with entertainment gifts like the good little choir girls we are. Recent artists have included Andy C and Faithless, while a local farmers market, an ice rink and multiple international festivals are also held on the grounds.
Runners up: Everyman Cinema.
Winner: The Arthouse
A total local gem and favourite among many. Showing a vast collection of independent, art house and live theatre events, this small local cinema is often praised as a very special venue. With bags of personality, a decked out cafe and even live comedy and music, it’s a world away from a £5 pint of coke and a blockbuster at Cineworld.
Runners up: Crouch End Picturehouse, Hornsey Town Hall.
It’s pretty hard to fault this juicy little gem of a cafe. Every plate is bursting with flavour, they feel lovingly prepared and boy are they good looking. The place is often packed, for good reason, but has a jolly bustling atmosphere. Pop in for a coffee, leave three courses later.
Runners up: Crocodile Antiques, Maison Blanc.
Winner: The Haberdashery
Being named best cafe in Crouch End is a bit like winning a marry your sister competition at a Trump rally, you won’t be having a lack of entries, the place is teaming with them! So what makes The Haberdashery stand out? Well, they’re not reinventing the wheel, they’re just offering really lovely food, a lively atmosphere and an earnest welcome from owners Greg and Massimo.
Runners up: Edith’s House, Coffee Circus.
What do you think? Who has won this suburban battle? We want to know, show your loyalty by using #CrouchendFTW or #MuswellhillFTW to @northfour_.
Photos: Mike Barry & Mike Ashdown.
Hivemind are coming to the Hen and Chickens Theatre this Summer with a cracker of an innovative show. Three directors try to win over the audience with improvised stories acted out by the rest of the Hivemind cast on the spur of the moment. As each scene ends you decide whether to “stick” and see where the story goes or “twist” and let the next director take over. The director who ends up with the least scenes acted out has to pay a ‘terrible forfeit’. Told you it was harsh.
We have been wondering whether or not to share this secret gem with you for a while now. Having walked past Cazenove Road on many a drunken occasion, we’d spotted The Lacy Nook A Board luring us inwards with a siren’s call of cocktails and beer garden. But unfortunately we’d get the timing all wrong and they’d rarely be open. “Closed at 4am! How ludicrous?” we’d holler, slurring and swaying up the road. Until now. Opening last year, The Lacy Nook is a collaboration between two friends who turned to Kickstarter to help them achieve this culinary dream . Think small and large plates of fusion Balkan BBQ, salads and carpaccio alongside
This year, Playing Up have commissioned a new play by Sophie Ellerby (HighTide First Commissions Writer and NYT REP Company 2013), Three, which will be staged at the Arcola Theatre from 20th to 22nd July. The urban and domestic drama, directed by NYT Associate Director Anna Niland follows three sisters who fight to keep track of reality as their world is turned upside down.
Tonight, on this dull yet sweaty Monday, what you may well need is to show your confectionary based fillings to the ceiling and let it all out with a huge bellowing guffaw about nothing in particular. Let the likes of quick witted Josie Long, surreal twosome Max and Ivan and the downright uproarious Tom Parry help you escape the chocolate lacking reality of 2017.
Registered charity, All Dogs Matter are a dog rehoming centre based in Archway. They use a mixture of foster homes and kennel spaces to house their dogs, who are each looking to be fostered or adopted. Occasionally we look through their profiles of beautiful singletons looking for love and feature one at random. We interviewed one newly single lady in particular called Lottie. A fun spirited character with smooth hair and a huge grin, Lottie was a right laugh.
Next Sunday it’s the Cally Road Jumble Trail, run by the community. Think a car boot sale but on the street with vintage clothing, accessories, toys, original creations and cakes if you’re lucky. The whole of the trail is set up online over at jumbletrail.com where visitors get a colour coded map to explore and discover all the hidden treasures on offer from your neighbourhood.
You’ve got your socks pulled up but no Cliff Richard in sight. You’re all white shorted up with nowhere to go. It’s time to find out where your white headbanded self will fit in. Here's our top four Wimbledon screening hang outs to try this Summer.
Until five minutes ago I would’ve believed Pet Nat was a holistic dog food brand / veterinary business in Wood Green. I’m half right actually*, but in the boozios world it’s a fizzy wine. Pétillant Naturel is light and fizzy, usually pretty low on the alcohol scale and rather sweet. Think the opposite of a dry red wine.
Abney Public Hall is hosting a market of world food delicacies next weekend, having gathered together the creme de la creme of planet Earth’s cuisine. Prepare for a mass fusion of cultures, great food, drink and music just off Stoke Newington Church Street.
Otherwise known as the shoredification of London, there are four stages of denial when it comes to dealing with the inevitability of gentrification. Are you a dilapidated ol’ boozer clinging on to the same threads since 1989, or more of a craft beer-swilling/moustache-bearing pop up type propping up the bar at a cookie dough cafe? Let’s find out before your bedroom’s transformed in to a pop up belfie gallery.
Poop poop! Get your driving gloves on and tweed jackets ready, for Toady has invited us down to Toad Hall for a banquet on the riverbank. Join The Literary Hour for their all new immersive supper club experience this Summer. It’s the eighth in their series of book themed events with multi-sensory five course meals featuring additional surprises… Ooh ratty!
Every last Thursday of the month a motley crew of performing acts shuffle off to the skinny little Moustache Bar on Stoke Newington Road for a night of microphone hogging. It’s Open Mic night and the stage isn’t just available to acoustic guitar yielding crooners. The floor is open for all you comedians, rappers, poets, hell even actors are welcome to come tread the boards at Moustache Bar this Thursday 27th July.
Ah Stokey. You chilled out little rebel of North London. The seemingly easy breezy, laissez-faire attitude that appears to exude from every award winning eatery and baby clothes shop of Church Street is all but an organic hessian veil over it’s anarchic and rebellious history. Nonconformists, anti fascists and dissenters built the area as we know it.
Trying our luck, we decided to ask the wonderful Raina and Saira of Joginder Supper Club to give us some unseen insight in to their centuries old Punjabi recipes. Amazingly they agreed to shed some light on one of their most tasty dishes: the Bhoolghobi Tamatar (cauliflower with tomato and potato). Over to the experts...
So this July 198 cyclists head over to Germany to start the Tour de France. If you think that is weird, wait till I tell you it started in Yorkshire a few years ago. Anyway after the three days of the Grand Depart the spectacle of the world's biggest sporting event heads back to France and the action really begins.
Did you take one look at the ticket prices for Glastonbury, vomit in your mouth and close your laptop slowly? Did you get a debilitating case of FOMO scrolling through your friends Glastonbury pics and “oops lost my phone at Radiohead” status updates? Or did you actually go to Glastonbury, witness Jon Snow drop the f bomb and now know that life will never get any better