Crouch End vs. Muswell Hill

Written by: Violet Myers

It has come to our attention that there may be a spot of healthy rivalry forming between Muswell Hill and Crouch End. But in the race to be North London’s Yummy Mummy Capital, there can only be one winner.

Now, we don’t want to get in the middle and we’d hate to stir, or even encourage a fight between the two tubeless inner city neighbourhoods, but we heard that Muswell Hill said Crouch End’s new micro fringe is totally #tryhard and Crouch End is for sure macking on Muswell Hill’s dad, but you didn’t hear that from us.

The time has come to settle this once and for all. Is Muswell Hill worthy of reigning glory or will Crouch End take the crown?

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Michael Kiwanuka


Crouch End
Winner: Gillian Anderson

She may talk like a Yank but alien-doubting FBI goddess Dana Scully is one of ours, more specifically one of Crouch End’s, having spent her childhood in the leafy suburb.

Runners up: James McAvoy, Simon Pegg.

Muswell Hill
Winner: Michael Kiwanuka

The British soul singer, with a voice as smooth as a DiCaprio chat-up line, grew up in Muswell Hill before finding fame with his debut album ‘Home Again’, which was nominated for a Mercury Award in 2012.

Runners up: infamously poisoned spy Alexander Litvinenko, Johnny Vegas.

The Famous Royal Oak Pub, Pub, Muswell Hill, Crouch End VS Muswell Hill, London, North London, North Four Magazine

The Famous Royal Oak


Muswell Hill
Winner: The Famous Royal Oak

Sure we love a wasabi pea as much as the next guy, but when it comes to a top pub, friendly, low key and traditional wins over stylish every time. Muswell Hill’s Famous Royal Oak snatches it from competitors by giving the people what they want a bangin’ jukebox and beer at £3.50 a pint.

Runners up: O’Neils, Victoria Stakes.

Crouch End

Winner: The Queens

It’s hard not to love this stylish neighbourhood pub. Boasting stained glass windows, top grub and a beer garden worthy of the queen herself (Winehouse not Windsor) it’s a hit with midweek boozers and family roast seekers alike.

Runners up: The Railway Cafe, Harringay Arms.

Chooks Muswell Hill Fried Chicken North London North Four



Muswell Hill
Winner: Chooks

As the final missile of WW3 is fired into our bleak dystopian future the only thing any of us will still be able to agree on is how much we miss fried chicken and how much we regret sending the entire chicken population into battle when times got really tough. Chooks make finger licking goodness an art form. Try the buttermilk chicken – die happy.

Runners up: Toffs, Amici Miei 2 Go.

Crouch End
Winner: Melange

Endlessly stylish, reasonably priced and serving up oodles of delicious French food without any of the hassle of actually going there – we don’t care how many Fitbit points it’ll earn us, it’s just too far. Offering breakfast, lunch, dinner and a cheeky cocktail menu, there’s no need to ever leave.

Runners up: Monkey Nuts, Heirloom.

Flesh & Flour


Muswell Hill
Winner: Flesh & Flour

It may have a rather graphic name for a Deli but Flesh and Flour are keeping Muswell Hill locals on their toes with an exotic array of producers. They’re also killing it in the cafe department, but one award at a time please.

Runners up: Feat Deli, Just Natural.

Crouch End
Winner: De Beauvoir Deli

Packed to the rafters with high end cheeses, posh juices and more salami you could shake a baguette at, De Beauvoir Deli is keeping Crouch End classy. Sure, there’s a pretty hefty selection of healthy options but it’s those massive cakes that make them winners in our eyes.

Runners up: Haelan Centre, Piazza Italia.

Arthouse, Crouch End, Arts, North London, North Four Magazine

The Arthouse


Muswell Hill
Winner: Alexandra Palace

Easily one of North London’s best venues, this triumph of a palace showers us with entertainment gifts like the good little choir girls we are. Recent artists have included Andy C and Faithless, while a local farmers market, an ice rink and multiple international festivals are also held on the grounds.

Runners up: Everyman Cinema.

Crouch End
Winner: The Arthouse

A total local gem and favourite among many. Showing a vast collection of independent, art house and live theatre events, this small local cinema is often praised as a very special venue. With bags of personality, a decked out cafe and even live comedy and music, it’s a world away from a £5 pint of coke and a blockbuster at Cineworld.

Runners up: Crouch End Picturehouse, Hornsey Town Hall.


Chriskitch, North London, North Four Magazine



Muswell Hill
Winner: Chriskitch

It’s pretty hard to fault this juicy little gem of a cafe. Every plate is bursting with flavour, they feel lovingly prepared and boy are they good looking. The place is often packed, for good reason, but has a jolly bustling atmosphere. Pop in for a coffee, leave three courses later.

Runners up:
Crocodile Antiques, Maison Blanc.

Crouch End
Winner: The Haberdashery

Being named best cafe in Crouch End is a bit like winning a marry your sister competition at a Trump rally, you won’t be having a lack of entries, the place is teaming with them! So what makes The Haberdashery stand out? Well, they’re not reinventing the wheel, they’re just offering really lovely food, a lively atmosphere and an earnest welcome from owners Greg and Massimo.

Runners up: Edith’s House, Coffee Circus.


What do you think? Who has won this suburban battle? We want to know, show your loyalty by using #CrouchendFTW or #MuswellhillFTW to @northfour_.

Photos: Mike Barry & Mike Ashdown.

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