Doggy Dating - Swipe Right on Dogs Near You
Written by: Sophie Taylor
New dogs in your area this week! My phone lights up to alert me and I discretely tap the app to find out more.
Meet Max: a young and energetic lover of long walks with a penchant for rabbit liver and cuddles. Sound appealing? He’s also got 90’s style floppy hair and will slobber all over your face on the first meet. Hells yes. Max is just one of the dogs featured on borrowmydoggy.com, the dog meeting site that brings together busy owners and dogless pooch-obsessives in a beautiful and mutually beneficial arrangement.
You’ll have to create a profile with a bio that doesn’t sound too creepy, before having it verified with all your credentials. Then you can browse the catalogue of local ‘talent’, giving a cheeky heart to your faves (that’ll be all of them then). Hopefully, you’ll receive a message from one of your chosen hairy suitors organising a first doggy date. If you get to this stage (nice one babez!) choose somewhere busy and public – a nearby park is a good place to start, but you can also feel safe knowing that all members have to be verified with bank card, mobile phone and other security details.
Tindog is slightly different in that you’ll need your own furry best friend to join. It works just like its human-centric app namesake Tinder, as you have to swipe through a catalogue of members to collect your favourites. Whether it’s for your lonely dog or for your lonely old self (no judgements here, we’re talking about London after all) you can make the choice while you sign up.
Once you’ve entered your dog’s age, gender, breed and picked the most flattering pics of your pedigree chum (action shot, tiger pic, mirror selfie), you might be starting to feel more than a little bit pimpy. But think of the rewards! Once you get a match you can start to chat, share photos and schedule meetings with other weirdos just like you. So, playing your cards right, you and your bestie are basically signing up for double dates in the park. Sweeeet.
When I signed up to date local canines, I have to say I was hella nervous. Waiting in Clissold Park for some stranger to arrive with the potential love-of-my-life on a lead was awkward as arse. How could I play it cool having just gasped over photos of the beautiful fluff ball that morning? I’d even brought a couple of Schmacko treats along in my pocket.. weird? Like, dogaphile weird?
But when my dream date arrived, all was well. I was greeted with love and fluff and excited whimpers. Max’s ‘mum’ and I sat on a bench and discussed his history, his breeder, his temperament and training (imagine doing this on a human date). Then we went for a walk and I held the lead (weeh!) while we talked about our own backgrounds and training. She was a script writer whose husband she had just left because he didn’t allow her to have a dog. I was impressed. She sensed Max was getting bored of her working from home every day and he needed a new friend, more excitement in his life. I felt like I was being interviewed as a mistress but I went along with it.
A week went by and we’d loosely arranged to meet again. But nearer the second date, all went quiet. I got dog ghosted.
Want to know the real kicker? Dog dating works exactly like human dating. You’re probably not the only one they’re seeing and you might be kicked to the curb in the process. Which I was with Max.
But you know what else? There’s plenty more dogs in the park. Ahem.
Hivemind are coming to the Hen and Chickens Theatre this Summer with a cracker of an innovative show. Three directors try to win over the audience with improvised stories acted out by the rest of the Hivemind cast on the spur of the moment. As each scene ends you decide whether to “stick” and see where the story goes or “twist” and let the next director take over. The director who ends up with the least scenes acted out has to pay a ‘terrible forfeit’. Told you it was harsh.
We have been wondering whether or not to share this secret gem with you for a while now. Having walked past Cazenove Road on many a drunken occasion, we’d spotted The Lacy Nook A Board luring us inwards with a siren’s call of cocktails and beer garden. But unfortunately we’d get the timing all wrong and they’d rarely be open. “Closed at 4am! How ludicrous?” we’d holler, slurring and swaying up the road. Until now. Opening last year, The Lacy Nook is a collaboration between two friends who turned to Kickstarter to help them achieve this culinary dream . Think small and large plates of fusion Balkan BBQ, salads and carpaccio alongside
This year, Playing Up have commissioned a new play by Sophie Ellerby (HighTide First Commissions Writer and NYT REP Company 2013), Three, which will be staged at the Arcola Theatre from 20th to 22nd July. The urban and domestic drama, directed by NYT Associate Director Anna Niland follows three sisters who fight to keep track of reality as their world is turned upside down.
Tonight, on this dull yet sweaty Monday, what you may well need is to show your confectionary based fillings to the ceiling and let it all out with a huge bellowing guffaw about nothing in particular. Let the likes of quick witted Josie Long, surreal twosome Max and Ivan and the downright uproarious Tom Parry help you escape the chocolate lacking reality of 2017.
Registered charity, All Dogs Matter are a dog rehoming centre based in Archway. They use a mixture of foster homes and kennel spaces to house their dogs, who are each looking to be fostered or adopted. Occasionally we look through their profiles of beautiful singletons looking for love and feature one at random. We interviewed one newly single lady in particular called Lottie. A fun spirited character with smooth hair and a huge grin, Lottie was a right laugh.
Next Sunday it’s the Cally Road Jumble Trail, run by the community. Think a car boot sale but on the street with vintage clothing, accessories, toys, original creations and cakes if you’re lucky. The whole of the trail is set up online over at jumbletrail.com where visitors get a colour coded map to explore and discover all the hidden treasures on offer from your neighbourhood.
You’ve got your socks pulled up but no Cliff Richard in sight. You’re all white shorted up with nowhere to go. It’s time to find out where your white headbanded self will fit in. Here's our top four Wimbledon screening hang outs to try this Summer.
Until five minutes ago I would’ve believed Pet Nat was a holistic dog food brand / veterinary business in Wood Green. I’m half right actually*, but in the boozios world it’s a fizzy wine. Pétillant Naturel is light and fizzy, usually pretty low on the alcohol scale and rather sweet. Think the opposite of a dry red wine.
Abney Public Hall is hosting a market of world food delicacies next weekend, having gathered together the creme de la creme of planet Earth’s cuisine. Prepare for a mass fusion of cultures, great food, drink and music just off Stoke Newington Church Street.
Otherwise known as the shoredification of London, there are four stages of denial when it comes to dealing with the inevitability of gentrification. Are you a dilapidated ol’ boozer clinging on to the same threads since 1989, or more of a craft beer-swilling/moustache-bearing pop up type propping up the bar at a cookie dough cafe? Let’s find out before your bedroom’s transformed in to a pop up belfie gallery.
Poop poop! Get your driving gloves on and tweed jackets ready, for Toady has invited us down to Toad Hall for a banquet on the riverbank. Join The Literary Hour for their all new immersive supper club experience this Summer. It’s the eighth in their series of book themed events with multi-sensory five course meals featuring additional surprises… Ooh ratty!
Every last Thursday of the month a motley crew of performing acts shuffle off to the skinny little Moustache Bar on Stoke Newington Road for a night of microphone hogging. It’s Open Mic night and the stage isn’t just available to acoustic guitar yielding crooners. The floor is open for all you comedians, rappers, poets, hell even actors are welcome to come tread the boards at Moustache Bar this Thursday 27th July.
Ah Stokey. You chilled out little rebel of North London. The seemingly easy breezy, laissez-faire attitude that appears to exude from every award winning eatery and baby clothes shop of Church Street is all but an organic hessian veil over it’s anarchic and rebellious history. Nonconformists, anti fascists and dissenters built the area as we know it.
Trying our luck, we decided to ask the wonderful Raina and Saira of Joginder Supper Club to give us some unseen insight in to their centuries old Punjabi recipes. Amazingly they agreed to shed some light on one of their most tasty dishes: the Bhoolghobi Tamatar (cauliflower with tomato and potato). Over to the experts...
So this July 198 cyclists head over to Germany to start the Tour de France. If you think that is weird, wait till I tell you it started in Yorkshire a few years ago. Anyway after the three days of the Grand Depart the spectacle of the world's biggest sporting event heads back to France and the action really begins.
Did you take one look at the ticket prices for Glastonbury, vomit in your mouth and close your laptop slowly? Did you get a debilitating case of FOMO scrolling through your friends Glastonbury pics and “oops lost my phone at Radiohead” status updates? Or did you actually go to Glastonbury, witness Jon Snow drop the f bomb and now know that life will never get any better