"Nah, Not The Notting Hill Carnival" Bank Holiday To Do List
Written by: Sophie Taylor
As long as you’re not one of those smug office knobs who took the Friday off (yeah, we see you), you deserve to ease yourself in with an after work pint and gear up for your long weekend of not using the bank.
By the way, did anyone else look at their iCalendar the other week, punch the air and book a three-day fun binge because it said it was a Bank Holiday Monday? Then realised it only applied to Scotland? I know, I know. Well, chin up you over excited big kids you, your time has come!
So, as we have all come to the depressing conclusion that it takes at least a week to recover from one pint these days, you may as well push the boat out and have a big old late one on the Friday and recover in September.
On the 26th August at The Garage in Islington, battle winning club and festival DJ, Mr. Thing will be playing over four hours of classic hip-hop, soul and funk in his Throwback Lounge. The DMC Champion (that’s the Disco Mix Club Championships for the uneducated) and former Scratch Perverts member will be dipping into his mammoth catalogue of music, accrued across years playing venues and events around the world, to try to impress us North Londoners… and impress he will.
Tickets are £6 in advance or £10 on the door, so get booking good looking.
Go on, play the YouTube video we’ve lovingly embedded for you and keep it playing while you read. He’s right good that Mr Thing. I think I’m a bit in love with him now. Anyway, on to Saturday…
Whether you’re feeling fresh as a daisy or rough as the worm that just crawled out from under it, Saturday morning is for eating and lounging. So why not do it on the beach? Camden Roundhouse imported 150 tonnes of sand just for you to scrunch your toes in and get all annoyed about when it’s still in your shoes come Christmas. Pack a spade* and a belly for filling because they’ve got BBQ rum & coke spare ribs, deep fried polenta, cocktail bars and obligatory ice creams.
Every Saturday they have live music from ‘young emerging musicians and DJs who have all come through the Paul Hamlyn Roundhouse Studios’. Hey guess what else? It’s completely free. Unless you want to book a VIP beach hut, which seem to be going fast, so if you like the sound of your own private summer house with ‘cushioned seating and exclusive outdoor space’ with either 2 bottles of prosecco, a fridge of lager, 12 ciders (or soft drinks), popcorn and rock, food from the BBQ, App ordering and waiter service to your hut and a souvenir beach mat get clicking here.
Now that you’re full on sticky ribs and crunchy sand, it’s time to get your hot pants and your rave on at KOKO; just up the road on Camden High Street.
From 9pm it’s The Hot Wuk Truck Party. Expect ‘pure dancehall hype’ until 3am and lots of twerking. Personally, I think it’s a massive excuse to wear comfy, comfy flats and be a complete and utter sweaty mess judgement free.
They say to book early to avoid disappointment but there are still tickets left and some available on the door (£10-20 advance or £25 on the door).
Koko – 1a Camden High St, London, NW1 7JE
Photo from Heatwave
It’s Sunday and it’s time to chill out before you realise you’ve got Monday off. So instead of hysterically switching off Antiques Roadshow and over compensating with ill-judged last minute grand schemes, slow down. Use Sunday to catch your breath with some more relaxed plans.
Try heading to The House of Illustration in Kings Cross and catch much-loved children’s illustrator, Quentin Blake’s exhibition on until 2nd October. Have a read of our review of The BFG in pictures.
Then why not be one of those self-satisfied Sunday strollers that actually do bottomless brunch. But do it right, without the cheap prosecco, at Victory Mansion in Stoke Newington and leave deservedly smug. Or, if you’re a ‘more runny eggs, less hangover at sunset’ types why not pick and choose from our top four recommended Darling Let’s Do Brunch suggestions.
But if that’s not enough celery and tomato juice for you, meander down to Drake and Morgan in Kings Cross for Bloody Mary Bingo where you can ‘indulge in booze, banter & bingo downstairs in our Green Room Bar’. We’re a sucker for a spot of alliteration.
The bingo will be coordinated by fabulous drag prince Alfie Ordinary with Arran Shurvinton. You can go for the drinks package: £15 for 3 bloody mary’s / bellinis or the set menu: £25 for a main meal & 3 bloody mary’s or bellinis.
Book your space by emailing email@example.com
Or give em a ring-a-ling on 0845 468 0107
It’s time to get schooled. You may well be suffering from Bank Holiday FOMO at this point, so quash it with a panic planned novelty class. Like a Burlesque Dance lesson. Even if it’s not your friend of a friend’s hen do you can still don some vintage heels and gloves and get involved with a lesson in empowerment from Sharon T, founder of the highly-acclaimed London school of burlesque.
‘Embracing diversity is the Burlesque Baby mantra. From 18 year old girls to women in their late sixties – Tesco cashiers to supermodels, city bankers to royalty – Sharon believes that all of these women are united through one desire- to feel empowered!’ she says, referring to herself in the third person and slightly muffled through some feathers. Preach it Shazza, Sophie is with you on that one.
Photo via Burlesque Baby
If that sounds like a bit too much belly shaking after your big weekend and massive Monday breakfast, how about venturing into Hampstead for a supper club and masterclass? Learn how to ‘perfectly smoke and cook low and slow’ at The Flask. Their resident food buff and General Manager, Mark Gourdie, will teach you about their fantastical Big Green Egg cooker, covering everything from charcoal/wood choice, cooking techniques, rubs, sauces, meats, vegetables, and sides. Once you’ve learnt more than you bargained for from a huge green egg thing, they’ll be serving up a feast with each dish matched to a ‘crisp & refreshing beer from Signature Brewing Company’.
Book yourself in here why doncha.
Photo via The Flask
Staying in a hotel one mile from where you actually live feels strange enough, but doing it on your own is even stranger. These photos are a visual record of me wandering the lonely corridors of a new boutique hotel between the hours of 10-12pm. I would describe the decor as handmade but not cheap, minimal but not clinical. It has the feeling that money has been spent on the things that matter.
The rumours are true: a cheese festival exists and it’s coming to North London. This Sunday. Be there or be … cheese-less I suppose. But you’ve gouda get there early: If you’re as keen as brie and one of the first fifty fromage fondlers to show, you’re in the running for a free bottle of Black Cow’s pure milk vodka. Traders will be setting up stalls along Islington’s Chapel Market: from the Raclette Brothers and Mac to the Future to La Fromagerie and The Cheese Truck.
Dream Talk. It’s like Dream Phone, but not at all. Artist Emma Alonze and musician Andy Becker have joined forces to collaborate on a (possibly prophetic) new sound art project. Londoners are invited to take a moment out of their daily commute, routine or journey and immerse themselves in a narrated collection of dreams. Taking three years worth of forty winks, Alonze has gathered and narrated a chosen few to be set to an ambient soundtrack by Becker.
Holy smoke, her nipples are on fire! Somebody pass the woman an extinguisher. Wait, why is she climbing into that giant margarita glass - does she not know it's highly flammable? She's going to need to be doused with a sizable portion of aloe vera gel at this rate, the poor lamb.
If there's anything the new moon today has told us, it's that it's time to be our true selves. That's what my horoscope told me today anyway. But what does that mean exactly? It means that if you want to eat honey loops for lunch, you 100% can. It means if you feel like learning how to make a bouquet instead of working on your tax forms, you 100% can. It also means if you want to learn how the deep throat (singing technique) you don't have to explain yourself. You're keeping it .
Our exclusive meeting with Eroc: the Beyonce of the skateboarding dog world. Eroc the french bulldog is making waves. With fans like Tony Hawk, BBC Radio and over 30k followers on Instagram (and counting), Eroc has also become something of an online sensation. His viral status comes and goes, randomly popping up on online social media channels every now and again to generate hundreds of thousands of views and clicks via the likes of Buzzfeed, Time Out and rogue iPhone filmers.
We all have our own ways of dealing with life when things get shitty. Having a big cry and getting it all out can be incredibly therapeutic, and even more so when we find ourselves repeating the same line over and over through the tears. “He’s a dick!” or “I’m not a bad person!” These little lines of reinforcement help us push through the crappy feeling. Sometimes we might even revert to a hearty little stamp on the floor / kick of some unsuspecting object. It feels surprisingly satisfying when the rage sets in and we feel helpless.
This Friday sees the release of Malian master musicians, Trio Da Kali’s new album Ladilikan. Fusing rich, expressive vocals with traditional instruments like the balafon and bass ngoni, this is a beautiful mix of ancient Mande culture and contemporary Malian sounds. Luckily for us North Londoners, we have the opportunity to see the trio play live in the rather fitting ethereal surrounds of Stoke Newington Church next month.
Walking along Monsell Road in Finsbury Park, we spy the charming exterior of a shop looking like something out of a children’s book circa 1932. Beneath a green and white striped awning, a whimsical new world of mini animals awaits. Once inside we stumble about the store in hushed awe, reaching over a book of minuscule carpet samples/ family of miniature otters to tap a tiny bell.
Whether you’re looking for something to entertain your kids, your friends’ kids or that particularly large man child in your life, you might just have lucked out. Snug are hosting an open air screening of The Incredibles next Saturday evening. There will be tasty sourdough pizzas from Sodo Pizza (Upper Clapton) and ultimate authentic curries from Rice n Spice, Northwold Road.
Coming soon to a Tufnell Park near you is a whole new vegetable patch of delights / wheat field to run vicariously through. It’s time to get excited for Ceremony: a brand new bar/restaurant serving modern British veggie cuisine. Although the website remains tantalisingly mysterious, you can glean more info from their well stocked insta.
Sound baths, pit parties, fake cheese and nipples, these are a few of our favourite things, said no one ever. Bored of drinking down the pub every evening? Unlikely, but bare with me. Sometimes you just want to let down your hair, shake it off and do something down right odd of an evening... followed by a pint at the pub.
It’s been a few months since the last instalment of Online vs Offline. I deleted Bumble, Happn and Tinder, flirted with the idea of match.com, went to a friend’s wedding, heard the vicar call my name instead of the Bride’s and reflected briefly on the crushing inevitability of my own spinsterhood before realising everyone was laughing in the pews and I should probably join them.
Gluten-free cake consumers, vegan cheese enthusiasts, craft beer connoisseurs, lovers of pies and drinkers of tea; your time is now. Buy food of a quality & variety you can’t easily find in the shops, from organic meat to vegan cheese, fish caught that morning to pickles which have been fermenting for months, at Stroud Green market.
Who’s up for free entry, free cake and free folk (except for a jaunty little hat that is passed around for donations)? Get down to The Finsbury this Wednesday eve for a little mid week hootenanny and celebrate some of the best in new live music from the ‘acoustic, singer-songwriter & indie-folk scene’. Host with the most, Zoe Konez (“Ridiculously talented, Konez handles her guitar like she was born with it” - For Folk's Sake) will be deftly introducing each act from gin soaked folk popster herself, Penniless Cove to German indie band, Kalon.
What if you could mix the joys of your local Sunday car boot and all it’s dog perving potential with your favourite vintage clothes shops and high end antique markets? Within the sparkling depths of Dalson’s former ABC cinema, you’ll find The Big London Flea: London’s largest indoor vintage market.