Political Apocalypse: Welcome To The End Of The World
Written by: Sophie Taylor
It’s a cold, November day. The leaves have turned burned ombre, the sky has streaks of bright orange, we slip on a discarded satsuma. Falling slowly to the ground, we laugh at ourselves helplessly and the empty giggles echo around the streets for at least four more years.
In these surreal and shaky times, we ask the locals of Newington Green what they’d do on their last day on Earth. Plans mostly involve alcohol, but mainly focused on gathering friends. Welcome to the apocalypse in Newington Green.
We take a deep breath. We begrudgingly trudge across the leafy grass of Newington Green, still wet with dew, wondering what the dogs must think of us twisted, pitiful humans. We reach solace at Lizzie’s, a cafe full of promise and vegan cake in these depressing times.
Martha smiles at us knowingly, pours us a coffee, keeping our gaze all the while. It’s reassuring. Handing it over she explains her plans for the end. “A boozy bonfire, right here in the middle of the green, with all my friends.” Her work mate Dan chimes in, “But what about getting drunk in the pub?”
Martha looks towards the dogs and the locals as old as time reclining on the deckchairs, laughing amongst themselves.
“No, we need to be outside, with nature, on the grass. It’s the end of the world. We don’t want to be inside a building now.”
Buoyed by cream cheese icing and caffeine, we float across the zebra crossing to the candle lit charcuterie, Yield. Tony is leaning on a barrel of his olive oil, popping open a bottle of his homemade farmhouse red wine as we enter.
What are you going to do Tony? What are your plans for this end of days?
He offers us each a glass and we all sip contentedly while he decides. Those Italian grapes have got a lot to answer for. This is some easy drinking adult juice.
“I am going to host a picnic here, with all the passionate local business owners of Newington Green”. He describes the apocalyptic harvest they will ‘yield’ (geddit), bringing together the incredible tastes of local cafes and restaurants to create an epic picnic inside his four walls.
Starting to feel a little more positive (/tipsy), we trip round the corner onto Green Lanes. Mark from Atom Gallery is spraying Moet over the walls of his new gallery with a large group of friends, cackling and twisting to Northern Soul. The rhythms follow us down the road as we slip in to collective art space, Greenhouse for shelter from the rust coloured rain. People are still creating fantastic, soul wrenching and witty art on their macbooks, sipping flat whites. Nick Cave plays out from the swinging pod chair speakers.
Strangely hungry we’re drawn to Lottie of Feest London, the cafe within Greenhouse. She’s ravenous too, telling us her apocalyptic plans to eat her way around Newington Green. “Starting with my friends at Lizzies on the Green I’ll have delicious cake, followed by tapas at Trangallan, washed down with a nightcap at Newington Table. Of course we’ll all come back here for the real ending, as this is the coolest place to hang out”. She’s not wrong.
At this point we remember our friends still taking shelter from the cold in The Lady Mildmay pub. We rush back to tell them everything’s okay, we’ve met some happy positive people and we don’t have to be miserable. Bursting through the doors we see them whipping their hair to David Bowie’s ‘Five Years’ and spilling warm glasses of mulled cider in hearty chin chins. Steve, the owner, is watching over the merriments and stirring the pot of bubbling alcohol. We ask how he is and what he wants to do next. “I’m continuing to be the host tonight. From The Lady Mildmay you’ve got front row seats to the end of the world. We’re still going to serve food, pull pints and make cocktails.”
Loyal and professional to the end, the friendly folks of Newington Green have made us laugh while keeping us warm, nourished and drunk. What more can you ask for amongst friends in an apocalypse? It’s the end of the world as we know it. Chin up and chin chin.
Flocking to Holloway Road on one of the many Sundays that we’ve spent at the Nag’s Head Car Boot Sale, we spotted a new Vietnamese place called Pho Hot getting ready to open up their doors. Being the nosy folks we are, we peeked inside and spotted a menu. Banh Mi was on it. It's a baguette, but not as you know it. Glory of all glories! It’s been far too long since I last consumed this distinctive sarnie and I'm happy as Larry that there's a new Banh Mi joint on my doorstep.
Baby, it’s getting cold outside, and what better way to aide our frostbitten noses than a chat to a professional skin person? We’re talking to Lee Garrett, founder of The Garrett Clinic, accomplished skincare specialist and heralded by many as the UK’s leading Skin Guru. Read on to find out his insider tips for surviving this winter season with your skin looking as radiant as the moon that breaks a stormy night.
Joined by over 50 other artists incorporating printmaking, painting, digital art, photography and small-scale sculpture, Tomorrow’s World presents us with utopias, dystopias, predictions, prophecies and visions of the future. We hit up the private view last Friday and it was pretty damn bleak, in the best sense of the word.
Carouse founders Chris, Theo and Ben – the charming folk behind Kentish Town’s Rose and Crown – have a new venture afoot and we couldn’t be more bloody excited to see it. We’ve been creeping in their windows, peering through the paint and sneaking glimpses at builders’ bums for a few months now (okay, maybe not the last one), watching these guys transform this cosy corner of Crouch Hill into a rather cool little boozer. Now they’re opening and everyone is invited. Come one, come all, and try all 20 of their beers on tap with us.
Last month I decided to try clubbing again. I don’t quite know what came over me, but I actually (brace yourselves) enjoyed it. I went to Body Hammer’s monthly party in Manor House and I’m here to tell you to go too, whether you love clubbing, hate clubbing, or really couldn’t care either way. #notspon
Rich, fried, buttery, potato-y vessels loaded with flavor combinations that go down rather well with craft beer, late nights and good times. Ha, who am I kidding, EVERYTHING goes down well with beer. You heard that right buddy, loaded potato skins are back with a bang (and a generous portion of bacon) and are currently being served at Old Street's The Magic Roundabout by street food pop-up Skins and we could not be any happier. Well, unless they were to stuff it with, say, Mac and Cheese or risotto. Oh, that's exactly what they do? Well paint me green and call me a cucumber.
Magical gifts, wonderful gifts, marvellous gifts, beautiful gifts, gifts, glorious gifts glo-ri-ous giiiiiifts. Please Sir, I want some more. It’s that time of year again and whether you love it or loathe it gifts will be purchased and presented into expectant hands. Stroud Green's very own Pretty Shiny Shop have compiled a gift guide to help ease the shopping shock. Imagine only having to trot to your local gift shop and tick off your entire shopping list in one fell swoop. Done, finito, terminado! To make it that little sweeter, it's also all very affordable... so you won't even have to pick a pocket or two.
Alright guys, it’s happening. The frosty charm of December is, once again, being beaten to a pulp by the capitalists’ wet dream: Christmas. The hideous twinkling of artificial outdoor lighting is starting to appear, with tourists flocking from far and wide to watch D-list celebrities press a button. Invitations to Christmas parties flood in from your multiple part-time jobs, ensuring you make bad decisions bi-weekly til next year. Supermarkets are selling 12-day advent calendars containing confetti, cookie cutters and candles for a flawless £50. And oh, how the mulled wine flows.
Who doesn’t love a cheeky statistic, correctly sourced? You know we do. Well, did you know that for every £1 spent with a small business, 63p is re-spent in the local area, as opposed to a measly 40p in every £1 re-spent locally with larger businesses? An absolute travesty, am I right? That 23p has to mean something, right, guys?! Guys? Guys, where are you going? Wait, there’s freebies involved too!
By gum there are a lot of winter markets this year. Fueled by sickly sweet mulled wine and overpriced pulled pork sliders, we’ve managed to wade our way through the murky waters of winter markets and find some decent looking ones round this here part of town. Don’t let our Grinch-esq vibes put you off (I’m more of a Pancake Day person myself) because, if you’re into markets, you’ll probably like these. Read on, if you’re merrier than us.
Take a short walk along Finsbury Park’s own sunset strip and you’ll find MoseyHome, an interiors retailer and styling consultancy who have invited us to collaborate with them on an exciting new series titled 'Style My Shop', in which they invite some of London's most talented interiors experts to quite literally style their shop. Interiors porn at it's finest.
Why was the snowman sad? Because he had a meltdown. Much like us, every year, when winter comes. It’s cold, it’s dark, and we know Christmas is on its way. But hey, it’s not all bad – the events round this time of year can be pretty swell. So don your scarf-shawl-blanket and get your frolic on, it’s time for fairy lights, scarfing mulled wine and stuffing your face!
Touch, taste, smell, hear and create art. Smith & Sinclair, purveyors of the Edible Cocktail, presents The Flavour Gallery: a multi-sensory adventure that’ll seduce your senses and tickle your taste buds beyond all imagination. Ooh matron!
Brush the cobwebs off your sexy banana costume; it’s that time of year to make a tit of yourself in fancy dress again. We’ve rounded up the most spine-chilling Halloween happenings in North London and, trust us, they sound horrendous. Be afraid, be very afraid.