Top Five "Do What You Want We're Not Your Mum" Things To Do
Written by: Sophie Taylor
October. Stop smoking, stop drinking, stop breathing, be more aware, keep breathing, stop giving up, stop trying not to fall on the tubeline…
Abstinence and being told what to do can bugger right off. We’re channeling our year 5 swimming teacher here who, when asked whether we should put our swimming cap on or not, shouted I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I DON’T LOVE YOU. I HARDLY EVEN KNOW YOU.
Never a truer word was spoken. Go cap-less. This is your October.
1. Pig out
Kerb’s fourth birthday party, Kings Cross
Smartie exploding chocolate buttercream donuts anyone?
Quickly make space in your stomachs, for street food collective Kerb have made it to the grand old age of four. In celebration they are hosting a big party in West Handyside Canopy Kings Cross. There’ll be traditional four year old birthday games, a hip hop marching band and plenty of insane food. With slightly less conventional fourth birthday party alcohol: look out for birthday cake spritz cocktails and speciality craft beers on tap.
But let’s get back to the important bit: the tasty ass food. You’ll be spoilt for choice here. For the carnivores there’s ox heart pepperoni quesadillas, Bleecker burger sliders, ahi tuna poke boats and vietnamese chicken skewers just to begin. What’s a tuna poke boat when it’s at home? I don’t care as long as it’s in my mouth.
For the lentil munchers out there you’ve got deep fried spaghetti balls and mac n cheese fries with dipping sauce from Anna Mae’s. The sweet tooth ones can rejoice with baked Alaska and marshmallow sauce or butterscotch honeycomb pecan choux cones for afters. I say ‘or’. You can totally have both, I’m not your mum.
Wash it all down with a spiced tequila Tegroni cocktail or a Beavertown Neck Oil craft beer. Again, those are just examples. Feel free to mix your drinks and have more than one, I’m 100% still not your mum. Afterwards you can whirl your bellies around to Pig & Rig’s eclectic sound system, live music and the sounds of your own digestive system working extra hard.
Gosh how do we love you Kerb. Let us count the ways on our greasy little fingers.
Tickets are a mere £4 (how topical) and include a lucky dip shooter.
Friday 14th October, 5-11pm Kings Cross West Handyside Canopy.
2. Treat yourself
Stylist Live, Islington
13th – 16th October
Style, beauty and business advice. With cocktails.
Are you the kind of person who wants to hear the likes of Caitlan Moran or Sophie Ellis-Bextor waffle on about various topics, learn how to code and get savvy ass business advice? Whilst sipping chambord, watching catwalk shows and getting your hair did?
Well look no further freakish multi taskers. It’s the Stylist Live event from 13th – 16th October in Islington Business Centre. There’ll be over 150 talks and workshops with more than 100 boutique pop-ups and free pampering on tap.
Get a ticket and reserve your place at the talks and workshops you most fancy the look of.
If you fancy upgrading to VIP level you’ll be able to sashay into the VIP area, viewing gallery and hair styling / make-up stations while chowing down on complimentary food and drink and swinging your Stylist Live goodie bag in people’s newly make-overed faces. Treat yourself.
3. Spit or swallow
Greek Larder Wine Festival, 8th – 9th October
Screw Oktoberfest. Noone should need an excuse to drink copious amounts of beer and ale. We certainly don’t. Neither do we need to wear costumes for the occasion. Shun the yeasty beer drinkers for one weekend and get your wine on instead at the Greek Larder Wine Festival.
Over 130 Greek wines are on offer at the festival in King’s Cross, with delicious Greek food, live Greek music and guest speakers. All brought to you by Theodore Kyriakou and hosted this year by multi-award winning wine expert, Olly Smith.
Tickets are £10. Book in advance, as they say, to avoid wine-based disappointment.
4. Play with your food
Who and what are Christabels?
In a secret location overlooking Regent’s Canal, owner Christabel Beeson hosts immersive eating and drinking experiences born out of her love of unique concepts and events. Regular pop up events include botanical speakeasies, Mad Hatter brunches and edible playgrounds all served up on Christabel’s beautifully hand painted ceramics.
This month you could find yourself at a macaron art workshop or even a bejewelled cocktail masterclass where you’ll realise how wrong you were to simply pour from the bottle into your mouth.
At an edible playground event you’re positively encouraged to play with your food and create the likes of Snakes & Ladders bruschetta, quinoa and castles and paint-your-own soy ginger honey chicken. What’s more, Christabels donate a percentage of ticket sales to edible playgrounds which inspires children to grow and eat good, nutritional food.
All events on offer can also be tailored for private parties. They even have a seriously pimped glampervan for hire, a 1980s Ambulance in a previous life, ideal for festivals, weddings and glittering weekend getaways.
Offbeat, appetising and charitable.
Find tickets here for various dates across October in a secret N1 location, £30 – £40
5. Laugh inappropriately loud
Thom Fooles House Party, Angel
Let’s face it, by Thursday we’re all starting to glaze over and walk that little bit more slowly over busy roads. So dust yourself off and slap a grin on your face at Thom Fooles House Party in Angel.
An evening of stand up, storytelling, party games and clowns. Which I hope just translates as physical comedy rather than something to do with those recent ‘clown attacks’. As if life isn’t hard and surreal enough without this particularly niche threat.
You can also expect cabaret acts and DJs with guest hosts each time. They’ve had names such as Daniel Simonsen, Jonny Awsum, Peter Bazely, Frank Sanazi, Lee Kern, East End Cabaret, The Establishment, Sophie Pelham and more! So if any of those names ring a bell, and a positive bell at that, book yourself a ticket misery guts.
Joined by over 50 other artists incorporating printmaking, painting, digital art, photography and small-scale sculpture, Tomorrow’s World presents us with utopias, dystopias, predictions, prophecies and visions of the future. We hit up the private view last Friday and it was pretty damn bleak, in the best sense of the word.
Carouse founders Chris, Theo and Ben – the charming folk behind Kentish Town’s Rose and Crown – have a new venture afoot and we couldn’t be more bloody excited to see it. We’ve been creeping in their windows, peering through the paint and sneaking glimpses at builders’ bums for a few months now (okay, maybe not the last one), watching these guys transform this cosy corner of Crouch Hill into a rather cool little boozer. Now they’re opening and everyone is invited. Come one, come all, and try all 20 of their beers on tap with us.
Last month I decided to try clubbing again. I don’t quite know what came over me, but I actually (brace yourselves) enjoyed it. I went to Body Hammer’s monthly party in Manor House and I’m here to tell you to go too, whether you love clubbing, hate clubbing, or really couldn’t care either way. #notspon
Rich, fried, buttery, potato-y vessels loaded with flavor combinations that go down rather well with craft beer, late nights and good times. Ha, who am I kidding, EVERYTHING goes down well with beer. You heard that right buddy, loaded potato skins are back with a bang (and a generous portion of bacon) and are currently being served at Old Street's The Magic Roundabout by street food pop-up Skins and we could not be any happier. Well, unless they were to stuff it with, say, Mac and Cheese or risotto. Oh, that's exactly what they do? Well paint me green and call me a cucumber.
Magical gifts, wonderful gifts, marvellous gifts, beautiful gifts, gifts, glorious gifts glo-ri-ous giiiiiifts. Please Sir, I want some more. It’s that time of year again and whether you love it or loathe it gifts will be purchased and presented into expectant hands. Stroud Green's very own Pretty Shiny Shop have compiled a gift guide to help ease the shopping shock. Imagine only having to trot to your local gift shop and tick off your entire shopping list in one fell swoop. Done, finito, terminado! To make it that little sweeter, it's also all very affordable... so you won't even have to pick a pocket or two.
Alright guys, it’s happening. The frosty charm of December is, once again, being beaten to a pulp by the capitalists’ wet dream: Christmas. The hideous twinkling of artificial outdoor lighting is starting to appear, with tourists flocking from far and wide to watch D-list celebrities press a button. Invitations to Christmas parties flood in from your multiple part-time jobs, ensuring you make bad decisions bi-weekly til next year. Supermarkets are selling 12-day advent calendars containing confetti, cookie cutters and candles for a flawless £50. And oh, how the mulled wine flows.
Who doesn’t love a cheeky statistic, correctly sourced? You know we do. Well, did you know that for every £1 spent with a small business, 63p is re-spent in the local area, as opposed to a measly 40p in every £1 re-spent locally with larger businesses? An absolute travesty, am I right? That 23p has to mean something, right, guys?! Guys? Guys, where are you going? Wait, there’s freebies involved too!
By gum there are a lot of winter markets this year. Fueled by sickly sweet mulled wine and overpriced pulled pork sliders, we’ve managed to wade our way through the murky waters of winter markets and find some decent looking ones round this here part of town. Don’t let our Grinch-esq vibes put you off (I’m more of a Pancake Day person myself) because, if you’re into markets, you’ll probably like these. Read on, if you’re merrier than us.
Take a short walk along Finsbury Park’s own sunset strip and you’ll find MoseyHome, an interiors retailer and styling consultancy who have invited us to collaborate with them on an exciting new series titled 'Style My Shop', in which they invite some of London's most talented interiors experts to quite literally style their shop. Interiors porn at it's finest.
Why was the snowman sad? Because he had a meltdown. Much like us, every year, when winter comes. It’s cold, it’s dark, and we know Christmas is on its way. But hey, it’s not all bad – the events round this time of year can be pretty swell. So don your scarf-shawl-blanket and get your frolic on, it’s time for fairy lights, scarfing mulled wine and stuffing your face!
Touch, taste, smell, hear and create art. Smith & Sinclair, purveyors of the Edible Cocktail, presents The Flavour Gallery: a multi-sensory adventure that’ll seduce your senses and tickle your taste buds beyond all imagination. Ooh matron!
Brush the cobwebs off your sexy banana costume; it’s that time of year to make a tit of yourself in fancy dress again. We’ve rounded up the most spine-chilling Halloween happenings in North London and, trust us, they sound horrendous. Be afraid, be very afraid.
God bless the Queen... of Hoxton. Or, more specifically, their rooftop - which happens to be one of our favourites in this here city of London. These guys are well known for creating beautiful, seasonal pop-ups which have included the Nordic Viking themed 'Skye Halla' and the Neverland inspired 'Bangarang'. This winter make way for 'The Moroccan Medina', a sky high hideaway inspired by the romanticism of the beguiling ancient city of Marrakesh.
Next time you need a caffeine hit why not take it from a cup brewed from Jamaican beans grown under a canopy of rainforest-preserving trees, whilst eating a home made vegan banana bread as you sit among an array of sweetly scented blooms. Welcome to Mento, Finsbury Park.