Top Five "Do What You Want We're Not Your Mum" Things To Do
Written by: Sophie Taylor
October. Stop smoking, stop drinking, stop breathing, be more aware, keep breathing, stop giving up, stop trying not to fall on the tubeline…
Abstinence and being told what to do can bugger right off. We’re channeling our year 5 swimming teacher here who, when asked whether we should put our swimming cap on or not, shouted I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER. I DON’T LOVE YOU. I HARDLY EVEN KNOW YOU.
Never a truer word was spoken. Go cap-less. This is your October.
1. Pig out
Kerb’s fourth birthday party, Kings Cross
Smartie exploding chocolate buttercream donuts anyone?
Quickly make space in your stomachs, for street food collective Kerb have made it to the grand old age of four. In celebration they are hosting a big party in West Handyside Canopy Kings Cross. There’ll be traditional four year old birthday games, a hip hop marching band and plenty of insane food. With slightly less conventional fourth birthday party alcohol: look out for birthday cake spritz cocktails and speciality craft beers on tap.
But let’s get back to the important bit: the tasty ass food. You’ll be spoilt for choice here. For the carnivores there’s ox heart pepperoni quesadillas, Bleecker burger sliders, ahi tuna poke boats and vietnamese chicken skewers just to begin. What’s a tuna poke boat when it’s at home? I don’t care as long as it’s in my mouth.
For the lentil munchers out there you’ve got deep fried spaghetti balls and mac n cheese fries with dipping sauce from Anna Mae’s. The sweet tooth ones can rejoice with baked Alaska and marshmallow sauce or butterscotch honeycomb pecan choux cones for afters. I say ‘or’. You can totally have both, I’m not your mum.
Wash it all down with a spiced tequila Tegroni cocktail or a Beavertown Neck Oil craft beer. Again, those are just examples. Feel free to mix your drinks and have more than one, I’m 100% still not your mum. Afterwards you can whirl your bellies around to Pig & Rig’s eclectic sound system, live music and the sounds of your own digestive system working extra hard.
Gosh how do we love you Kerb. Let us count the ways on our greasy little fingers.
Tickets are a mere £4 (how topical) and include a lucky dip shooter.
Friday 14th October, 5-11pm Kings Cross West Handyside Canopy.
2. Treat yourself
Stylist Live, Islington
13th – 16th October
Style, beauty and business advice. With cocktails.
Are you the kind of person who wants to hear the likes of Caitlan Moran or Sophie Ellis-Bextor waffle on about various topics, learn how to code and get savvy ass business advice? Whilst sipping chambord, watching catwalk shows and getting your hair did?
Well look no further freakish multi taskers. It’s the Stylist Live event from 13th – 16th October in Islington Business Centre. There’ll be over 150 talks and workshops with more than 100 boutique pop-ups and free pampering on tap.
Get a ticket and reserve your place at the talks and workshops you most fancy the look of.
If you fancy upgrading to VIP level you’ll be able to sashay into the VIP area, viewing gallery and hair styling / make-up stations while chowing down on complimentary food and drink and swinging your Stylist Live goodie bag in people’s newly make-overed faces. Treat yourself.
3. Spit or swallow
Greek Larder Wine Festival, 8th – 9th October
Screw Oktoberfest. Noone should need an excuse to drink copious amounts of beer and ale. We certainly don’t. Neither do we need to wear costumes for the occasion. Shun the yeasty beer drinkers for one weekend and get your wine on instead at the Greek Larder Wine Festival.
Over 130 Greek wines are on offer at the festival in King’s Cross, with delicious Greek food, live Greek music and guest speakers. All brought to you by Theodore Kyriakou and hosted this year by multi-award winning wine expert, Olly Smith.
Tickets are £10. Book in advance, as they say, to avoid wine-based disappointment.
4. Play with your food
Who and what are Christabels?
In a secret location overlooking Regent’s Canal, owner Christabel Beeson hosts immersive eating and drinking experiences born out of her love of unique concepts and events. Regular pop up events include botanical speakeasies, Mad Hatter brunches and edible playgrounds all served up on Christabel’s beautifully hand painted ceramics.
This month you could find yourself at a macaron art workshop or even a bejewelled cocktail masterclass where you’ll realise how wrong you were to simply pour from the bottle into your mouth.
At an edible playground event you’re positively encouraged to play with your food and create the likes of Snakes & Ladders bruschetta, quinoa and castles and paint-your-own soy ginger honey chicken. What’s more, Christabels donate a percentage of ticket sales to edible playgrounds which inspires children to grow and eat good, nutritional food.
All events on offer can also be tailored for private parties. They even have a seriously pimped glampervan for hire, a 1980s Ambulance in a previous life, ideal for festivals, weddings and glittering weekend getaways.
Offbeat, appetising and charitable.
Find tickets here for various dates across October in a secret N1 location, £30 – £40
5. Laugh inappropriately loud
Thom Fooles House Party, Angel
Let’s face it, by Thursday we’re all starting to glaze over and walk that little bit more slowly over busy roads. So dust yourself off and slap a grin on your face at Thom Fooles House Party in Angel.
An evening of stand up, storytelling, party games and clowns. Which I hope just translates as physical comedy rather than something to do with those recent ‘clown attacks’. As if life isn’t hard and surreal enough without this particularly niche threat.
You can also expect cabaret acts and DJs with guest hosts each time. They’ve had names such as Daniel Simonsen, Jonny Awsum, Peter Bazely, Frank Sanazi, Lee Kern, East End Cabaret, The Establishment, Sophie Pelham and more! So if any of those names ring a bell, and a positive bell at that, book yourself a ticket misery guts.
“Only last night I found myself lost / by the station called King's Cross. / Dead and wounded on either side / you know it's only a matter of time.” [Pet Shop Boys - Kings Cross] It’s the night after the play and I’m standing at the bar of ‘The Big Chill House’ on Pentonville Road in Kings Cross. It’s ‘Throwback Thursday’ (#TBT) and happy hour is definitely over.
Ceramics with charisma. Local pottery genius, Laura Bird has of course graced the digital pages of It’s Nice That, sold out in Anthropologie* and taken her seat at many a London ceramics stall since just recently starting her career in ceramics. It’s no surprise she is well loved: her unique and gentle humour exudes from every jar, planter and candlestick holder, adorned with cheeky expressions and impish grins.
Having worked in hospitality with a keen artist’s eye, the Arts Building knew Emma was perfect to take over the space. They were after a morning to night eatery for the neighbourhood, one for local residents and workers alike. Knowing the street’s reputation as a bit of a foodie strip, the menu had to be up to scratch for it’s discerning super-taster of a community. Yes, we’re a hungry bunch in Stroud Green.
At the time of writing this the menu has just been released for Food by Feast’s new supper club. I imagine, however, that by the time you read this every dining space will be swiftly filled. If you aren’t acquainted with the duo yet (tsk), they’re the genius collaboration of Cordon Bleu chef and food writer Olivia Potts and Guardian food writer and cook, Kate Young. Having successfully completed the likes of a Gilmore Girls supper club to rapturous applause and smacking lips recently, the latest menu experience is Twin Peaks inspired and looks equally witty and delectable.
Sound healing in Stoke Newington. This Thursday 18th May, The Mystery School of Sound are running a de-stress gong bath experience in Stoke Newington Ramadan Mosque. Alongside guided meditation, healing process and gong performace, you’ll get a mini intro to healing traditions of the druids and hermetic teaching.
Patron Cave a Manger’s pop up cinema are shacking up at The Rose and Crown in Kentish Town to screen The Artist. Soak up the atmoshpere of the Festival du Cannes with swanky popcorn and elegant cocktails. Get red carpet ready for this special screening of The Artist - the ridiculously popular award winning silent French film that everyone fell in love with.
Unfortunately rising rents are affecting community spaces in Stoke Newington and their availability. St Mary’s Centre currently provides a space for projects including the Foodbank, Hackney Migrants centre and the Night Shelter but they're at risk of losing their space. To help raise funds to redevelop the space and increase awareness, they are organising a weekend food market in Stokey. The pop-up food market is a launch event for their huge fundraising drive to rebuild the community rooms attached to St Mary's Church in Stoke Newington.
Healthy chocolate mousse and sexing up your smoothie with Kate Oates. We have found ourselves a yoga guru in Kate Oates, a healthtastic yogi based in Crouch End. When we met her last year she hinted at a few of her own culinary creations and boy were we intrigued. Asking for an exclusive recipe for you health conscious readers, we received a taste sensation of an idea for chocolate breakfast.
“All My Single Cylinders, All My Single Cylinders”. Two girls, sick to the back teeth of Tindering and Bumbling about the bars of London, decided to create their own speed dating night. Involved in the biker community of East London they have created a special series of nights combining live music, motorbikes and speed dates. Bolt Motorbike Shop of Stoke Newington is their latest venue, providing a more intriguing backdrop for your date night and quashing the usual awkwardness of sparse, brightly lit speed dating scenarios. You can admire the motors, enjoy your free drinks and listen to some live music with some top notch handpicked company.
In case you’ve never had a piirakka, (also known as Karelian pasties, pies or pirogs) they’re a delicious Finnish treat that you need to try immediately. Whether savoury or sweet, they’re basically a light pastie made with rye flour and a pretty unique variety of filling options. Meet Aapo Nieminen, a native Finnish local who grew up with piirakka. After getting tired of asking friends and family to bring him these naughty little pasties whenever they visited he came up with a plan. “They are an important part of everyday finish life. One day I thought why not just make them yourself?”
The lycra is optional. Coffee however, isn't. On Friday 197 cyclists descended on Sardinia to compete in the 100th edition of the Giro d'Italia. For those of you that don't have wardrobes filled with lycra you might never of heard of it but Think Tour d'France but in Italy. Still drawing a blank?
Naked Dough have appeared like a pair of beautiful fairy godmothers to lead me to an actual edible cookie dough dance party. Plus they didn’t even tell me what I should wear, they genuinely don’t care. Naked Dough is a new restaurant serving edible cookie dough from tubs, cones and even carry home pots. The ingredients are raw egg free and the flour is heat-treated so you need not worry-like-Edwina-Currie about salmonella and stomach bloat (unless you’re gluten free of course. In which case I’m sorry you’ve stumbled upon this torture page of an article).
Ten years ago MINT Vintage first opened in Covent Garden before moving on to the more creative surrounds of Stoke Newington, pioneering fashion forward vintage. Every piece is hand selected and sourced from all over the world, ensuring every garment is trend driven but timeless and always unique. This May they’ve decided to transform their world in to an “oops we were trying to make corduroy and came up with denim” dreamland*.
Finding myself wandering around Limehouse Basin craving a pint and perhaps even a slice of pizza, I needed to get home to my local Crate Brewery sharpish (they do the freshest craft beers and have award winning pizzas). But how to get there? Stumbling in to Limehouse Station and towards a huge sign saying CLOSED, I consider walking there instead. A short meander riverwards, I reach the canal and begin to notice a group of people donning chunky waistcoats stretching their arms around. I pause for a second, swaying slightly on the spot, watching this mesmerising circle of humans yielding huge double ended spoons.
"Ooh they’re doing a psych night at Moth Club Tina!” "What, again?” It’s a familiar sentence. Fast becoming a buzzword for young musos and Beyond Retro dwellers alike, psych music is no longer just for the suede fringed waistcoat wearing Acid Jazz lovers who curse their parents they weren’t born in 1966. No no. The psych music spectrum has spread it’s bendy wings and shaken off it’s lava lamp skin to embrace a whole host of musical genres. From William Burroughs to Pet Sounds to Thee Oh Sees, the genre’s had a birth, decline and resurgence. Nambucca in Finsbury Park are totally capitalising on this revival with their new monthly night, SIKE! This Thursday 11th May, they’re bringing four different acts who are all covering different elements of the psych scene.
Back in 2014 The Good Egg was hatched, mixing Californian sunshine with Tel Aviv traditions to bring one heck of a menu to Stoke Newington. Food critics, instagrammers and swathes of Stokey baby holders flocked to it’s doors to get stuck in to the Jerusalem breakfast, merguez sausage and indeed eggs washed down with spicy brunch cocktails.