Top Four Ways to Avoid Love and Happiness this Valentines

Written by: Sophie Taylor

“Despair and deception, love’s ugly little twins, came a-knocking on my door, I let them in, I leet looove in” croons Nick Cave back circa 1994. It’s true, love has twins and they’re ugly as sin. Love also has a sister called Truth who had a son called Neville and he was a right two faced knob. They had a cousin called Happiness and he was such an unrelenting chasm of tedium, but then we didn’t get close enough to know him properly.

North Four, North London magazine, Cuckoo, gastro pub, Mirey's Restaurant, mussels, Valentines menu

Here’s how to protect yourself from the evil that is Love and Happiness this Valentines.

1. Eat yourself into a food coma

The Cuckoo

Gastro pub, The Cuckoo in N1 always has a top notch kitchen residency to take full consumable advantage of. This Valentines they’ve outdone themselves with Mirey’s Restaurant and a menu to dribble to.

For starters you can order steamed mussels with tomato, chilli and lovage, game terrine with beetroot relish OR feta, blood orange, candied walnut and baby spinach salad.

I’d go ahead and order all three babe.

You, my dear, don’t need to worry about bloating when you’ve shunned Love and turned all your mirrors around at home.

North Four, North London magazine, Cuckoo, gastro pub, Mirey's Restaurant, sorbet, Valentines menu

The mains look equally appetising so instead of choosing between honey and soy glazed salmon, roast venison loin or butternut squash speltotto, just go ahead and ask for them all.Ask and ye shall receive, I keep telling you honey pie.

The menu hilariously suggests the baked Camembert and garlic bread is to share. Tee hee! Those heart sinking two words are in brackets though, so immediately ignore and order for one then show The Cuckoo who’s boss and devour whilst maintaining eye contact throughout.

There’s also a discount available for the first bottle of house wine bought on the night. Get in quick winos! You’re going to need to be blotto-d for the barrage of disgusting self love making you’re going to be making later anyway.

Speaking of vino…

North Four, North London magazine, Yield, wine and charcuterie, restaurant, valentines menu

2. Drink yourself into a corner

Yield, Newington Green

“What would be a better way to spend the evening with your sweetheart, but with wine, cheese, and candlelight?” That’s what the beautiful people at wine and charcuterie store, Yield say on their website. They’re so right! Take yourself by the hand and whisk your hot piece of ass down to Newington Green for a night of top quality wine sloshing.

They’re open ’til late on the 14th Feb, so even more time for swirling a goblet of red around and winking at your reflection in the glass. Apparently they have some special surprises on the night. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? A slow dance section, yes! Lucky I’ve perfected the self-hug wrap-around grind move. It’s seriously hot.

Book ahead to avoid self disappointment through Open Table or call them on 020 7354 5912.

North Four, North London magazine, frame, kings cross, gym, self love workshop, move your frame,

3. Love yourself, because no-one else will

Frame Studios, Kings Cross

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with your barista. Oh, and yourself.

Whether you also have a special relationship with your yoga routine or you once tried child’s pose and just stayed in it ever since, all are welcome at Frame’s Self Love Yoga Workshop.

This Saturday 11th Feb, from 2:45pm – 4:45pm Annie Rice will help you accept yourself and release any of that nasty tension that’s been building in your neck and shoulders. I know that tutting woman on the overground is annoying as arse, but now is the time to let it go.

A gentle and restorative flow will focus on releasing tension and encourage feelings of self-acceptance followed by a deep, healing meditation.

Book yourself in here.

North Four, North London magazine, Arena Sessions, aphrodisiac menu, music and food, manor house, valentines

4. Arouse yourself, because you can only rely on you 

Arena Sessions, Manor House

If music be the food of love, play on and get me some tortillas cos I’m hungry too. Luckily Arena Sessions understand the need for both music and food when it comes to seduction. On the 15th Feb, Arena Sessions have created a special menu of aphrodisiacs set to live music. There’ll be  oysters with blood orange and ginger mignonette to begin, followed by homemade tortillas topped with sweet potato and black beans, served with chipotle potatoes and an aphrodisiac filled salad. It shall be washed down with pomegranate Prosecco cocktails and cashew / orange blossom Baklava with rose cream and raspberry sorbet. Mmmmm.

The music comes especially from Spain in the form of Fred de Mercedes Euménides Stoner Band (not a stoner rock band apparently, he’s actually referring to the landscapes of Castilla, Spain). Front man Freddie Sanguino creates verses similar to Medieval Castillian poetry ‘which has origins of Arabic metric system talking about landscapes, philosophy, chaotic behaviour of the universe and humans conception of it’. Whew. Reign it in Freddie! I’ve just eaten an oyster and I refuse to be seduced by your medieval poetry. Tonight is all about me.

Wednesday 15th Feb, 7 – 11:30pm at Arena Design Centre, Unit K4 Arena Design Centre 71 Ashfield Rd N41FF

Entry is £8 and dinner £25, tickets available here.

Got you in the mood for some quality alone time? Read our top four ways to date yourself in North London.

Brave Sir Robin Opening 14th December 2017
Eat & Drink

Local Thinking, Craft Beer Drinking: Brave Sir Robin Launches in Crouch Hill

Carouse founders Chris, Theo and Ben – the charming folk behind Kentish Town’s Rose and Crown – have a new venture afoot and we couldn’t be more bloody excited to see it. We’ve been creeping in their windows, peering through the paint and sneaking glimpses at builders’ bums for a few months now (okay, maybe not the last one), watching these guys transform this cosy corner of Crouch Hill into a rather cool little boozer. Now they’re opening and everyone is invited. Come one, come all, and try all 20 of their beers on tap with us.

Read More...
Back of persons head with cigarette tucked over ear
Events

Body Hammer: Clubbing, but not how you know it

Last month I decided to try clubbing again. I don’t quite know what came over me, but I actually (brace yourselves) enjoyed it. I went to Body Hammer’s monthly party in Manor House and I’m here to tell you to go too, whether you love clubbing, hate clubbing, or really couldn’t care either way. #notspon

Read More...
Close up of person shoving a stuffed potato skin into her mount at Skins in The Magic Roundabout for North Four Magazine
Eat & Drink Events

Go Your Own Way at Skins' Fleetwood Mac & Cheese Night

Rich, fried, buttery, potato-y vessels loaded with flavor combinations that go down rather well with craft beer, late nights and good times. Ha, who am I kidding, EVERYTHING goes down well with beer. You heard that right buddy, loaded potato skins are back with a bang (and a generous portion of bacon) and are currently being served at Old Street's The Magic Roundabout by street food pop-up Skins and we could not be any happier. Well, unless they were to stuff it with, say, Mac and Cheese or risotto. Oh, that's exactly what they do? Well paint me green and call me a cucumber.

Read More...
Christmas Gift Guide by Pretty Shiny Shop in Stroud Green North London
Lifestyle List

A Very Pretty Shiny Christmas Gift Guide

Magical gifts, wonderful gifts, marvellous gifts, beautiful gifts, gifts, glorious gifts glo-ri-ous giiiiiifts. Please Sir, I want some more. It’s that time of year again and whether you love it or loath it gifts will be purchased and presented into expectant hands. Stroud Green's very own Pretty Shiny Shop have compiled a gift guide to help ease the shopping shock. Imagine only having to trot to your local gift shop and tick off your entire shopping list in one fell swoop. Done, finito, terminado! To make it that little sweeter, it's also all very affordable... so you won't even have to pick a pocket or two.

Read More...
Three people clinking plastic glasses in the air in a tent with people in the background at Thor's Tipi Bar in Regent's Place
Eat & Drink Events

Drink, Feast, Conquer, Repeat. Thor's Tipi Bar Has Arrived.

Alright guys, it’s happening. The frosty charm of December is, once again, being beaten to a pulp by the capitalists’ wet dream: Christmas. The hideous twinkling of artificial outdoor lighting is starting to appear, with tourists flocking from far and wide to watch D-list celebrities press a button. Invitations to Christmas parties flood in from your multiple part-time jobs, ensuring you make bad decisions bi-weekly til next year. Supermarkets are selling 12-day advent calendars containing confetti, cookie cutters and candles for a flawless £50. And oh, how the mulled wine flows.

Read More...
Girl peeking through gold and pink balloons at Top Balloon in Shop Stroud Green for North Four Magazine
Eat & Drink Events

Shop Stroud Green Christmas Trail 2017

Who doesn’t love a cheeky statistic, correctly sourced? You know we do. Well, did you know that for every £1 spent with a small business, 63p is re-spent in the local area, as opposed to a measly 40p in every £1 re-spent locally with larger businesses? An absolute travesty, am I right? That 23p has to mean something, right, guys?! Guys? Guys, where are you going? Wait, there’s freebies involved too!

Read More...
Eat & Drink Events Lifestyle List

Top 4 'Christmas is just a bad excuse for a' Winter Markets

By gum there are a lot of winter markets this year. Fueled by sickly sweet mulled wine and overpriced pulled pork sliders, we’ve managed to wade our way through the murky waters of winter markets and find some decent looking ones round this here part of town. Don’t let our Grinch-esq vibes put you off (I’m more of a Pancake Day person myself) because, if you’re into markets, you’ll probably like these. Read on, if you’re merrier than us.

Read More...
The Vinteriors team and Mary le Comte at Moseyhome in Finsbury Park, North London for 'Style My Shop'.
Lifestyle

Style My Shop: Vinterior x Moseyhome

Take a short walk along Finsbury Park’s own sunset strip and you’ll find MoseyHome, an interiors retailer and styling consultancy who have invited us to collaborate with them on an exciting new series titled 'Style My Shop', in which they invite some of London's most talented interiors experts to quite literally style their shop. Interiors porn at it's finest.

Read More...
Eat & Drink Events List

Top Five "It's That Time Of Year Again" Things To Do This Winter

Why was the snowman sad? Because he had a meltdown. Much like us, every year, when winter comes. It’s cold, it’s dark, and we know Christmas is on its way. But hey, it’s not all bad – the events round this time of year can be pretty swell. So don your scarf-shawl-blanket and get your frolic on, it’s time for fairy lights, scarfing mulled wine and stuffing your face!

Read More...
Hand feeling colourful splashes of artwork at Smith and Sinclair Flavour Gallery
Culture Eat & Drink Events

Suck it at The Flavour Gallery

Touch, taste, smell, hear and create art. Smith & Sinclair, purveyors of the Edible Cocktail, presents The Flavour Gallery: a multi-sensory adventure that’ll seduce your senses and tickle your taste buds beyond all imagination. Ooh matron!

Read More...
Hodgepodge on Crouch Hill, North London. New restaurant opening November 2017
Eat & Drink

New Opening: Hodgepodge Crouch Hill

Offering modern British cuisine with a smokey twist, Crouch Hill's newest contender to its foodie scene, Hodge Podge, is all minimal styling and hearty yet inventive dishes.

Read More...
Cartoon of vampires standing in tunnel for London Horror Festival
Events List

Top 4 ‘Eat, drink and be scary’ All Hallows haunts

Brush the cobwebs off your sexy banana costume; it’s that time of year to make a tit of yourself in fancy dress again. We’ve rounded up the most spine-chilling Halloween happenings in North London and, trust us, they sound horrendous. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Read More...
Eat & Drink Events

The Moroccan Medina at The Queen of Hoxton Rooftop

God bless the Queen... of Hoxton. Or, more specifically, their rooftop - which happens to be one of our favourites in this here city of London. These guys are well known for creating beautiful, seasonal pop-ups which have included the Nordic Viking themed 'Skye Halla' and the Neverland inspired 'Bangarang'. This winter make way for 'The Moroccan Medina', a sky high hideaway inspired by the romanticism of the beguiling ancient city of Marrakesh.

Read More...
Mento, floristry cafe in finsbury park, North London
Eat & Drink

Mento: Flowers and Coffee

Next time you need a caffeine hit why not take it from a cup brewed from Jamaican beans grown under a canopy of rainforest-preserving trees, whilst eating a home made vegan banana bread as you sit among an array of sweetly scented blooms. Welcome to Mento, Finsbury Park.

Read More...
Eat & Drink

Pilgrim: A Unique Spanish Pop-up Dining Experience

Pilgrim, the newest kid to Hackney's pop-up scene, is a unique dining experience inspired by the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. This six course tasting menu includes regional dishes with a contemporary twist not yet seen before in London.

Read More...