Top Four "What to do When You're Not in a Cave" Weekend Plans
Written by: Sophie Taylor
So (hopefully) you’ve found yourself with four days off work. Charlotte from accounts has been banging on about her shit plans all week and Pete’s brutal description of his abhorrent weekend agenda has made you vom more times than you’d care to remember. If most of the usuals are off home for Easter, what are you going to do with yourself? Hide away in your man/she cave scrolling through pics of the ex and accidentally liking a 153 week old selfie? None of that. Here’s some last minute suggestions for the less organised and non trogladitey among us.
1. Hop right in Friday
As long as you didn’t jump too early and are now nursing a stonker from last night’s “woooh four day weekend let’s get another round of shots in” shenanigans, then you shall be in the mood for some old school rock n rolling tonight. What better place to embrace your inner punk than among the streets of Camden? Start off with a walking tour of the famous and infamous sights of Camden’s Rock n Roll history with local girl about town, Alison. “If I haven’t experienced some of the stories I’ll be telling myself, I personally know someone who was there.” She’ll walk you through the rich, musical history of the area showing you where The Clash lived and rehearsed, where Britpop began and take you to Winehouse’s old local, just for starters. Sign up here.
If you’d rather a more straightforward pub crawl, try 1 Big Night Out’s Camden Town version. Wear a long coat, some baggy sweats and dance from pub to pub like a Bowie Jagger gif. Starting at Bar 55 from 8pm, you’ll enjoy welcome shots in 3 more venues including the famous Stables Market and happy hour prices lasting all night. Find all the deets here.
2. Wholesome Saturday
Once you’ve taken full advantage of another lie in, you might be feeling the need for some more wholesome stimulation. Learn to make a chocolate egg, fire a ceramic pot or do some vintage shopping on the Saturday. My Chocolate are hosting a special workshop for hardened cocoaphiles, where you can build a giant flat egg or squashed chick from molten chocolate, using dipping forks to create marbled effects. After a moreish chocolate history lesson, you can dip and decorate your Easter creations using dark chocolate ganache, milk chocolate fudge and bowls of melted chocolate. Workshops take place at 11am and 3pm each day at 10c Branch Place, N1 5PH.
If you fancy something less chocolatey (/obvious), but still want to make work for your idle thumbs, try a pottery class in Stoke Newington. Learn to make your own tableware with hand building, wheel throwing and get creative with your finishing touches once you’ve fired, glazed and thoroughly felt up a lump of unsuspecting clay.
But Saturday’s are the original retail therapy days after all. So satiate that need to swap paper monies for physical items at Stoke Newington Tea House. They’re hosting a pop-up vintage shop on their top floor on Saturday, in partnership with Joey Never Met Doris.
There’ll be vintage clothes and accessories, one-of-a-kind interior and art from local artist, Carl Stimpson. The event is free and open from 11am to 7pm (with a break between 4pm – 5pm).
The downstairs pub is open as usual so if the sun’s got his fedora on take advantage of their garden with a cocktail or two. The four day weekend is young!
Stoke Newington Teahouse, 102 Stoke Newington Church Street, N16 0LA
3. Resurrect me Sunday
Relevantly resurrecting like the superstar preacher himself (casual blasphemy?) Victoria Stakes are re-opening this weekend after their great fire of last October. Thankfully no-one was hurt but the building had to be completely gutted, calling on six fire engines and 35 firefighters before donating all their food to charities and soup kitchens in the process.
After five months of rebuilding and redecorating, Victoria Stakes is ready for it’s close up once again. They’ll be officially open from the 14th, but why not go on Sunday to bypass the Friday rush and enjoy a more relaxed pint and roast.
That is until you remember it’s a four day weekend, your eyes widen and you order in four trays of shot roulette. Put that guilt away, because you’re supporting a truly independent pub who only serve ethically sourced fresh produce.
So help them keep on rising from the ashes of misfortune with an extra round this Easter.
4. All the Chill Monday
You can either reacquaint yourself with your sofa for the remainder of the weekend and resign yourself to box sets, or recover in style at The Finsbury. This Easter Monday they have pre-empted your need for calm and laid on five of the most relaxing acts they could muster including St. Simeon and the Stylites. Have a listen of the line up here.
Entry is free so you’ve no excuse that you’ve haemorrhaged your wages since Friday. Mon 17 April from 6pm – 11pm at The Finsbury, 336 Green Lanes, N4 1BY.
Staying in a hotel one mile from where you actually live feels strange enough, but doing it on your own is even stranger. These photos are a visual record of me wandering the lonely corridors of a new boutique hotel between the hours of 10-12pm. I would describe the decor as handmade but not cheap, minimal but not clinical. It has the feeling that money has been spent on the things that matter.
The rumours are true: a cheese festival exists and it’s coming to North London. This Sunday. Be there or be … cheese-less I suppose. But you’ve gouda get there early: If you’re as keen as brie and one of the first fifty fromage fondlers to show, you’re in the running for a free bottle of Black Cow’s pure milk vodka. Traders will be setting up stalls along Islington’s Chapel Market: from the Raclette Brothers and Mac to the Future to La Fromagerie and The Cheese Truck.
Dream Talk. It’s like Dream Phone, but not at all. Artist Emma Alonze and musician Andy Becker have joined forces to collaborate on a (possibly prophetic) new sound art project. Londoners are invited to take a moment out of their daily commute, routine or journey and immerse themselves in a narrated collection of dreams. Taking three years worth of forty winks, Alonze has gathered and narrated a chosen few to be set to an ambient soundtrack by Becker.
Holy smoke, her nipples are on fire! Somebody pass the woman an extinguisher. Wait, why is she climbing into that giant margarita glass - does she not know it's highly flammable? She's going to need to be doused with a sizable portion of aloe vera gel at this rate, the poor lamb.
If there's anything the new moon today has told us, it's that it's time to be our true selves. That's what my horoscope told me today anyway. But what does that mean exactly? It means that if you want to eat honey loops for lunch, you 100% can. It means if you feel like learning how to make a bouquet instead of working on your tax forms, you 100% can. It also means if you want to learn how the deep throat (singing technique) you don't have to explain yourself. You're keeping it .
Our exclusive meeting with Eroc: the Beyonce of the skateboarding dog world. Eroc the french bulldog is making waves. With fans like Tony Hawk, BBC Radio and over 30k followers on Instagram (and counting), Eroc has also become something of an online sensation. His viral status comes and goes, randomly popping up on online social media channels every now and again to generate hundreds of thousands of views and clicks via the likes of Buzzfeed, Time Out and rogue iPhone filmers.
We all have our own ways of dealing with life when things get shitty. Having a big cry and getting it all out can be incredibly therapeutic, and even more so when we find ourselves repeating the same line over and over through the tears. “He’s a dick!” or “I’m not a bad person!” These little lines of reinforcement help us push through the crappy feeling. Sometimes we might even revert to a hearty little stamp on the floor / kick of some unsuspecting object. It feels surprisingly satisfying when the rage sets in and we feel helpless.
This Friday sees the release of Malian master musicians, Trio Da Kali’s new album Ladilikan. Fusing rich, expressive vocals with traditional instruments like the balafon and bass ngoni, this is a beautiful mix of ancient Mande culture and contemporary Malian sounds. Luckily for us North Londoners, we have the opportunity to see the trio play live in the rather fitting ethereal surrounds of Stoke Newington Church next month.
Walking along Monsell Road in Finsbury Park, we spy the charming exterior of a shop looking like something out of a children’s book circa 1932. Beneath a green and white striped awning, a whimsical new world of mini animals awaits. Once inside we stumble about the store in hushed awe, reaching over a book of minuscule carpet samples/ family of miniature otters to tap a tiny bell.
Whether you’re looking for something to entertain your kids, your friends’ kids or that particularly large man child in your life, you might just have lucked out. Snug are hosting an open air screening of The Incredibles next Saturday evening. There will be tasty sourdough pizzas from Sodo Pizza (Upper Clapton) and ultimate authentic curries from Rice n Spice, Northwold Road.
Coming soon to a Tufnell Park near you is a whole new vegetable patch of delights / wheat field to run vicariously through. It’s time to get excited for Ceremony: a brand new bar/restaurant serving modern British veggie cuisine. Although the website remains tantalisingly mysterious, you can glean more info from their well stocked insta.
Sound baths, pit parties, fake cheese and nipples, these are a few of our favourite things, said no one ever. Bored of drinking down the pub every evening? Unlikely, but bare with me. Sometimes you just want to let down your hair, shake it off and do something down right odd of an evening... followed by a pint at the pub.
It’s been a few months since the last instalment of Online vs Offline. I deleted Bumble, Happn and Tinder, flirted with the idea of match.com, went to a friend’s wedding, heard the vicar call my name instead of the Bride’s and reflected briefly on the crushing inevitability of my own spinsterhood before realising everyone was laughing in the pews and I should probably join them.
Gluten-free cake consumers, vegan cheese enthusiasts, craft beer connoisseurs, lovers of pies and drinkers of tea; your time is now. Buy food of a quality & variety you can’t easily find in the shops, from organic meat to vegan cheese, fish caught that morning to pickles which have been fermenting for months, at Stroud Green market.
Who’s up for free entry, free cake and free folk (except for a jaunty little hat that is passed around for donations)? Get down to The Finsbury this Wednesday eve for a little mid week hootenanny and celebrate some of the best in new live music from the ‘acoustic, singer-songwriter & indie-folk scene’. Host with the most, Zoe Konez (“Ridiculously talented, Konez handles her guitar like she was born with it” - For Folk's Sake) will be deftly introducing each act from gin soaked folk popster herself, Penniless Cove to German indie band, Kalon.
What if you could mix the joys of your local Sunday car boot and all it’s dog perving potential with your favourite vintage clothes shops and high end antique markets? Within the sparkling depths of Dalson’s former ABC cinema, you’ll find The Big London Flea: London’s largest indoor vintage market.