Top Four "What to do When You're Not in a Cave" Weekend Plans

Written by: Sophie Taylor

So (hopefully) you’ve found yourself with four days off work. Charlotte from accounts has been banging on about her shit plans all week and Pete’s brutal description of his abhorrent weekend agenda has made you vom more times than you’d care to remember. If most of the usuals are off home for Easter, what are you going to do with yourself? Hide away in your man/she cave scrolling through pics of the ex and accidentally liking a 153 week old selfie? None of that. Here’s some last minute suggestions for the less organised and non trogladitey among us.

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1. Hop right in Friday

As long as you didn’t jump too early and are now nursing a stonker from last night’s “woooh four day weekend let’s get another round of shots in” shenanigans, then you shall be in the mood for some old school rock n rolling tonight. What better place to embrace your inner punk than among the streets of Camden? Start off with a walking tour of the famous and infamous sights of Camden’s Rock n Roll history with local girl about town, Alison. “If I haven’t experienced some of the stories I’ll be telling myself, I personally know someone who was there.” She’ll walk you through the rich, musical history of the area showing you where The Clash lived and rehearsed, where Britpop began and take you to Winehouse’s old local, just for starters. Sign up here

If you’d rather a more straightforward pub crawl, try 1 Big Night Out’s Camden Town version. Wear a long coat, some baggy sweats and dance from pub to pub like a Bowie Jagger gif. Starting at Bar 55 from 8pm, you’ll enjoy welcome shots in 3 more venues including the famous Stables Market and happy hour prices lasting all night. Find all the deets here

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2. Wholesome Saturday

Once you’ve taken full advantage of another lie in, you might be feeling the need for some more wholesome stimulation. Learn to make a chocolate egg, fire a ceramic pot or do some vintage shopping on the Saturday. My Chocolate are hosting a special workshop for hardened cocoaphiles, where you can build a giant flat egg or squashed chick from molten chocolate, using dipping forks to create marbled effects. After a moreish chocolate history lesson, you can dip and decorate your Easter creations using dark chocolate ganache, milk chocolate fudge and bowls of melted chocolate. Workshops take place at 11am and 3pm each day at 10c Branch Place, N1 5PH. 

If you fancy something less chocolatey (/obvious), but still want to make work for your idle thumbs, try a pottery class in Stoke Newington. Learn to make your own tableware with hand building, wheel throwing and get creative with your finishing touches once you’ve fired, glazed and thoroughly felt up a lump of unsuspecting clay.

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But Saturday’s are the original retail therapy days after all. So satiate that need to swap paper monies for physical items at Stoke Newington Tea House. They’re hosting a pop-up vintage shop on their top floor on Saturday, in partnership with Joey Never Met Doris.

There’ll be vintage clothes and accessories, one-of-a-kind interior and art from local artist, Carl Stimpson. The event is free and open from 11am to 7pm (with a break between 4pm – 5pm).

The downstairs pub is open as usual so if the sun’s got his fedora on take advantage of their garden with a cocktail or two. The four day weekend is young!

Stoke Newington Teahouse, 102 Stoke Newington Church Street, N16 0LA

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3. Resurrect me Sunday

Relevantly resurrecting like the superstar preacher himself (casual blasphemy?) Victoria Stakes are re-opening this weekend after their great fire of last October. Thankfully no-one was hurt but the building had to be completely gutted, calling on six fire engines and 35 firefighters before donating all their food to charities and soup kitchens in the process. 

After five months of rebuilding and redecorating, Victoria Stakes is ready for it’s close up once again. They’ll be officially open from the 14th, but why not go on Sunday to bypass the Friday rush and enjoy a more relaxed pint and roast.

That is until you remember it’s a four day weekend, your eyes widen and you order in four trays of shot roulette. Put that guilt away, because you’re supporting a truly independent pub who only serve ethically sourced fresh produce.

So help them keep on rising from the ashes of misfortune with an extra round this Easter.

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4. All the Chill Monday

You can either reacquaint yourself with your sofa for the remainder of the weekend and resign yourself to box sets, or recover in style at The Finsbury. This Easter Monday they have pre-empted your need for calm and laid on five of the most relaxing acts they could muster including St. Simeon and the Stylites. Have a listen of the line up here.

Entry is free so you’ve no excuse that you’ve haemorrhaged your wages since Friday. Mon 17 April from 6pm – 11pm at The Finsbury, 336 Green Lanes, N4 1BY.

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Theatre of Choice: Stick and Twisted by Hivemind

Hivemind are coming to the Hen and Chickens Theatre this Summer with a cracker of an innovative show. Three directors try to win over the audience with improvised stories acted out by the rest of the Hivemind cast on the spur of the moment. As each scene ends you decide whether to “stick” and see where the story goes or “twist” and let the next director take over. The director who ends up with the least scenes acted out has to pay a ‘terrible forfeit’. Told you it was harsh.

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Eat & Drink

Hidden Culinary Gem: The Lacy Nook

We have been wondering whether or not to share this secret gem with you for a while now. Having walked past Cazenove Road on many a drunken occasion, we’d spotted The Lacy Nook A Board luring us inwards with a siren’s call of cocktails and beer garden. But unfortunately we’d get the timing all wrong and they’d rarely be open. “Closed at 4am! How ludicrous?” we’d holler, slurring and swaying up the road. Until now. Opening last year, The Lacy Nook is a collaboration between two friends who turned to Kickstarter to help them achieve this culinary dream . Think small and large plates of fusion Balkan BBQ, salads and carpaccio alongside

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Playing Up: New NYT Show, Three

This year, Playing Up have commissioned a new play by Sophie Ellerby (HighTide First Commissions Writer and NYT REP Company 2013), Three, which will be staged at the Arcola Theatre from 20th to 22nd July. The urban and domestic drama, directed by NYT Associate Director Anna Niland follows three sisters who fight to keep track of reality as their world is turned upside down.

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Laughable Acts at Backyard Comedy Club

Tonight, on this dull yet sweaty Monday, what you may well need is to show your confectionary based fillings to the ceiling and let it all out with a huge bellowing guffaw about nothing in particular. Let the likes of quick witted Josie Long, surreal twosome Max and Ivan and the downright uproarious Tom Parry help you escape the chocolate lacking reality of 2017.

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Fur Dates: Lottie is Looking for Love

Registered charity, All Dogs Matter are a dog rehoming centre based in Archway. They use a mixture of foster homes and kennel spaces to house their dogs, who are each looking to be fostered or adopted. Occasionally we look through their profiles of beautiful singletons looking for love and feature one at random. We interviewed one newly single lady in particular called Lottie. A fun spirited character with smooth hair and a huge grin, Lottie was a right laugh.

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Get Involved: Cally Road Jumble Trail

Next Sunday it’s the Cally Road Jumble Trail, run by the community. Think a car boot sale but on the street with vintage clothing, accessories, toys, original creations and cakes if you’re lucky. The whole of the trail is set up online over at where visitors get a colour coded map to explore and discover all the hidden treasures on offer from your neighbourhood.

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Lifestyle List

Top Four ‘What the Deuce!’ Wimbledon Screening Spots

You’ve got your socks pulled up but no Cliff Richard in sight. You’re all white shorted up with nowhere to go. It’s time to find out where your white headbanded self will fit in. Here's our top four Wimbledon screening hang outs to try this Summer.

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Eat & Drink Events

Midsummer Fizz Masterclass at Yield N16

Until five minutes ago I would’ve believed Pet Nat was a holistic dog food brand / veterinary business in Wood Green. I’m half right actually*, but in the boozios world it’s a fizzy wine. Pétillant Naturel is light and fizzy, usually pretty low on the alcohol scale and rather sweet. Think the opposite of a dry red wine.

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Eat & Drink

World Foods Market, Abney Hall

Abney Public Hall is hosting a market of world food delicacies next weekend, having gathered together the creme de la creme of planet Earth’s cuisine. Prepare for a mass fusion of cultures, great food, drink and music just off Stoke Newington Church Street.

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Quiz: How Gentrified Are You?

Otherwise known as the shoredification of London, there are four stages of denial when it comes to dealing with the inevitability of gentrification. Are you a dilapidated ol’ boozer clinging on to the same threads since 1989, or more of a craft beer-swilling/moustache-bearing pop up type propping up the bar at a cookie dough cafe? Let’s find out before your bedroom’s transformed in to a pop up belfie gallery.

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Eat & Drink Events

Poop poop! Supper Club Banquet at Toad Hall

Poop poop! Get your driving gloves on and tweed jackets ready, for Toady has invited us down to Toad Hall for a banquet on the riverbank. Join The Literary Hour for their all new immersive supper club experience this Summer. It’s the eighth in their series of book themed events with multi-sensory five course meals featuring additional surprises… Ooh ratty!

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Comedians, Rappers, Actors: Open Mic Night in Stokey

Every last Thursday of the month a motley crew of performing acts shuffle off to the skinny little Moustache Bar on Stoke Newington Road for a night of microphone hogging. It’s Open Mic night and the stage isn’t just available to acoustic guitar yielding crooners. The floor is open for all you comedians, rappers, poets, hell even actors are welcome to come tread the boards at Moustache Bar this Thursday 27th July.

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Events Lifestyle

Walking Tour of Stokey's Rebel History

Ah Stokey. You chilled out little rebel of North London. The seemingly easy breezy, laissez-faire attitude that appears to exude from every award winning eatery and baby clothes shop of Church Street is all but an organic hessian veil over it’s anarchic and rebellious history. Nonconformists, anti fascists and dissenters built the area as we know it.

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Eat & Drink

Eating North London: Punjabi Supperclub Recipe

Trying our luck, we decided to ask the wonderful Raina and Saira of Joginder Supper Club to give us some unseen insight in to their centuries old Punjabi recipes. Amazingly they agreed to shed some light on one of their most tasty dishes: the Bhoolghobi Tamatar (cauliflower with tomato and potato). Over to the experts...

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Culture Eat & Drink Lifestyle

North London Bike Tour: Tour De North Four

So this July 198 cyclists head over to Germany to start the Tour de France. If you think that is weird, wait till I tell you it started in Yorkshire a few years ago. Anyway after the three days of the Grand Depart the spectacle of the world's biggest sporting event heads back to France and the action really begins.

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Glastonbury Comes to North London

Did you take one look at the ticket prices for Glastonbury, vomit in your mouth and close your laptop slowly? Did you get a debilitating case of FOMO scrolling through your friends Glastonbury pics and “oops lost my phone at Radiohead” status updates? Or did you actually go to Glastonbury, witness Jon Snow drop the f bomb and now know that life will never get any better