We Spent the Night in Alcotraz
Written by: Claire Holly Davies
Nevertheless, as I clamber into a very large (cheers guys) orange jumpsuit, the guard shoves a bottle of Conkers Gin wrapped in a thin towel (no fluffy Egyptian cotton here lads), into my now somewhat clammy hands. Whispering hastily at me to not get caught by the warden I’m ushered off in single file into the depths of Alcotraz.
Once inside the dark confines of Hackney’s answer to an old school US penitentiary, but with less hooch and more cocktails, we’re confronted with a Southern gent of a prison warden. Blocking the way through to the cells, the warden is all beard, belly and bible. Peering over his round glasses perched on the tip of his nose he bellows first testament chapters at us, reading from the small and well thumbed book he brandishes in front of our perplexed faces. His tone changes suddenly to a reassuring rumble as he promises that if we repent and stay out of trouble we’ll be released from the depths of Alcotraz.
The room is lined on one side with cells – all bare brick walls, metal bars and prison beds. Inmates (a rowdy bunch of journalists) clang their metal cups along the railings and cheers as they’re handed cocktails hidden in cans. A long bar, styled like American prison visitation booths, lines the opposite wall, with pairs of stalls sat in front of each ‘booth’. One side for the ‘prisoners’ the other for the bar team, acting out their roles as convicts serving illegal alcoholic contraband to their fellow inmates.
We’re directed to a booth where my plus one clumsily hands a bottle of spirits over to our very own private bar man, before getting a ticking off for not being covert enough. Seriously, I can’t take him anywhere (you can read about his last escapade as my plus one at the Between The Sheets burlesque show here). I’m considering giving him his own column “The Sorry Adventures of Being a North Four Plus One”, but in all honesty it would be about as dull as watching Philip Hammond stoically drinking a cup of insipid tea. I’m the fun one in this very one-sided double act.
London’s very first prison bar will have you conversing with prison guards about the nature of your crimes, being thumb printed for your prison records and potentially sent to solitary confinement, all whilst sipping on cocktails specifically made for you from your spirit of choice. You bring your own spirits (vodka, gin, whisky and/or rum) and pay £30 per guest which includes four cocktails mixed for each guests across an ‘inmate sentencing’ period of 1 hour and 45 minutes.
The prison is open Thursday to Saturday from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. and is open now until December 17.
212 Brick Lane, London E1 6RL
alcotraz.co.uk
Photos by Matt Martin Photography
02/10/2017
Pilgrim: A Unique Spanish Pop-up Dining Experience
Pilgrim, the newest kid to Hackney's pop-up scene, is a unique dining experience inspired by the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage. This six course tasting menu includes regional dishes with a contemporary twist not yet seen before in London.
Theatre: What Shadows
Recent times have seen an unnerving surge in right-wing politics. President Trump’s campaign to ‘make America great again’ saw him make the audacious promise to ‘build a wall’. France saw the uneasy ascent of Marine Le Pen’s National Front in its general elections and Germany’s AfD, (the first openly nationalist party in almost six decades) celebrated an unprecedented third place victory in its recent elections.
Dogtober Doggy Brunch at The Narrowboat
Bark bark bark. Bark! Woof! Yep, you heard it straight from the dog’s mouth. Dogtober (definitely a real thing) is in full swing and The Narrowboat is hosting their annual Doggy Brunch next Saturday 21st October. Bone Appétit!
Magic Roundabout's Retro Winter Wonderland
Summer is officially over. We're not sure it ever began in the first place. I guess that's one of the few downsides of living in London (other than crippling debt, tube strikes and Boris Johnson), but I digress... Magic Roundabout Old Street is raising the bar for winter, transforming the site into a tented, heated, 'Decades' inspired wonderland.
Fat Macy's Middle Eastern Feast
Guess who’s back, back again. Fat Macy’s back, tell a friend. No, really. Tell everyone about it. Fat Macy's supper club came back into our lives and this time around they had their Middle Eastern Feast on at the cute as a button Luminary Bakery in Stoke Newington, with a menu inspired by Ottolenghi and the #CookForSyria campaign.
We Spent the Night in Alcotraz
Getting shouted at by a burly prison guard with a buzz cut and an offensively loud American accent isn't usually the way one wishes to begin one's night. Nevertheless, as I clamber into a very large (cheers guys) orange jumpsuit, the guard shoves a bottle of Conkers Gin wrapped in a thin towel (no fluffy Egyptian cotton here lads), into my now somewhat clammy hands. Whispering hastily at me to not get caught by the warden I'm ushered off in single file into the depths of Alcotraz.
New Beacon Books Mini Market
If you haven’t heard the news yet, the world’s first black bookshop is back. Yes, after months of campaigning for funding and volunteers, New Beacon Books has reopened after threat of closure with a brand new refurb to boot. Established in 1966 by John La Rose and Sarah White, New Beacon Books is the UKs longest running independent bookshop specialising in African-Caribbean literature, cards and artwork.
Top Four “Hold My Phone I'm Going In” Cocktails
London cocktail week is upon us. To be honest I can think of nothing worse than strapping on a wristband, carrying around a guidebook and queuing up for something that just needs to be brought to my sorry, tired old lips immediately. Apparently this year however, Drink Up London have released an app that eliminates all of the above nonsense. Get your ticket, download the app and get enjoying your £6 cocktails all week long. Just remember to flash your digital pass to the bartender first.
Music: The Psychotic Monks London Debut
Garage and psych rock fans rejoice - The Psychotic Monks are stopping off in Camden tonight as part of their European tour. Roughly translated from French (GCSE stylee merci very much), the psych rockers describe themselves as “noise, fury, music impregnated .. with life impulses” finding a balance between “neurotic madness and contemplative melancholy”.
Bubble Tea and Banging Teriyaki Chicken in Finsbury Park
A bubble tea place in Finsbury Park? That also does a bangin’ teriyaki chicken rice box? Uh, hell yeah. This little gem quietly opened up last March on Wells Terrace. Y’know the spot where folks bumble off the most crowded bus in the entirety of London and damn near break a hip scampering for the tube round the corner? Yeah, that little pocket of Finsbury Park.
Londoners: Are We Proud or Ashamed?
According to a recent Provident Personal Credit survey Londoners still remain at the bottom of the friendliness scale scoring just 6.44 out of 10. Begging the question, how could anyone be possibly proud to be a Londoner? A city where its inhabitants revel in their ability to remain as cynical and isolated from the outside world as possible. A shallow group of people who are far more interested in Instagramming their brunch then saving money to buy houses or giving back to the community.
Conference: Raising Awareness for Mental Illness in Young Men
A series of talks taking place this November shines a necessary light on mental illness in boys and young men. Speakers will gather at Finsbury Park’s Arts and Media School to raise awareness and help advise on a variety of topics including substance misuse, eating disorders and suicide.
My First Night at Green Rooms Hotel
Staying in a hotel one mile from where you actually live feels strange enough, but doing it on your own is even stranger. These photos are a visual record of me wandering the lonely corridors of a new boutique hotel between the hours of 10-12pm. I would describe the decor as handmade but not cheap, minimal but not clinical. It has the feeling that money has been spent on the things that matter.
You Feta Brie-lieve it: Cheese Festival Comes to North London
The rumours are true: a cheese festival exists and it’s coming to North London. This Sunday. Be there or be … cheese-less I suppose. But you’ve gouda get there early: If you’re as keen as brie and one of the first fifty fromage fondlers to show, you’re in the running for a free bottle of Black Cow’s pure milk vodka. Traders will be setting up stalls along Islington’s Chapel Market: from the Raclette Brothers and Mac to the Future to La Fromagerie and The Cheese Truck.
Dream Talk: Sound Art for Your Commute
Dream Talk. It’s like Dream Phone, but not at all. Artist Emma Alonze and musician Andy Becker have joined forces to collaborate on a (possibly prophetic) new sound art project. Londoners are invited to take a moment out of their daily commute, routine or journey and immerse themselves in a narrated collection of dreams. Taking three years worth of forty winks, Alonze has gathered and narrated a chosen few to be set to an ambient soundtrack by Becker.
Between the Sheets at the Underbelly Festival
Holy smoke, her nipples are on fire! Somebody pass the woman an extinguisher. Wait, why is she climbing into that giant margarita glass - does she not know it's highly flammable? She's going to need to be doused with a sizable portion of aloe vera gel at this rate, the poor lamb.